The Middle | ✔️

Chapter 12 (Will)

Will

She's not happy with me, which was to be expected. I knew this was going to be difficult, and I knew she was going to be resistant with me, but I hadn't expected that outburst in Social Studies class. Jamie has always been so unpredictable, it's one of the qualities that initially attracted me to her, but god, it's hard trying to keep up with her sometimes. I still can't believe she said all of that stuff about us dating in front of Professor Orb, and the rest of the kids in the class. Talk about a great first impression.

But I deserve it, I cannot deny that. Really, after what I did to her, I have no defence. I'm thankful that she's agreed to let me give her a ride home. But I only have five minutes, so I need to make this time count. We're sitting in my car in the parking lot, and I'm hoping she hasn't damaged the door of my car after how hard she slammed it shut. I'm starting up the engine, and I'm rapidly planning what I need to say to her.

"Okay, so, I suppose the best place to start would be Harvard." I say. "I never wanted to go, you know I didn't. And it's as simple as that."

I start backing the car up, and I continue talking. Like I said, I need all of the time I'm getting.

"It's true what I said in Social Studies class, you played a big part in me ultimately deciding to go here instead of Harvard. My parents were very fucking disappointed, I'm sure you can imagine." she makes a muffled snorting sound at this. Yeah, she wasn't too fond of my mom and dad. Probably because they weren't too fond of her...

"When I told them I wasn't going to go to Harvard, they were heartbroken, to be honest. They said a lot of things to me that they didn't mean, and over time I managed to convince them that this was for the best. I don't know what I wanna do after graduation, but I know I don't wanna be a lawyer. I explained that to them, and when I told them I wanted to stay at home and go to NBU, things got a bit better. I wouldn't be across the country, at least, you know?"

She's still not saying anything. I guess she's wondering what any of this has to do with what I did to her. Right. Get to the point, Will.

"Irrelevant. Anyway. You remember that night you came over for dinner?" she shakes her head. Of course she remembers, it was awful. "Yeah... that was the night I got the call from Harvard admissions, inviting me in for an interview. I didn't tell my parents about it of course, because I knew then that I didn't really want to go. I was so confused about everything, with you, and with college, and with my parents. I just didn't wanna have to deal with any of it."

"You didn't wanna have to deal with me?" She snaps. Damn, I shouldn't have said that.

"No. Well, yeah, I guess." There's no point sugar coating any of this. "What I did was terrible, and things between us shouldn't have ended that way. I was a complete and utter dick, and I truly am sorry, Hawkins." I am, I really, really am. And I don't blame her for hating me, not at all.

She sighs. "Will, this is pointless. You did it, and you can't change that now. I think we just need to ignore each other and move along."

"I don't wanna just ignore you, though." I tell her. "I want to make amends. I want us to be friends."

"Friends?" She turns her head to face me, finally. And I know I have definitely said the wrong thing now. "Why the fuck would you think I would wanna be your friend? We weren't friends before, and I don't see why we need to be friends now."

She has a point. I've known her since Middle School, and I barely said a word to her until High School Senior Year. We could have been friends years ago. Yeah, she absolutely has a point. But after everything, I don't see how we could just ignore each other now. Especially if she's gonna start dating my roommate... I need to sort my shit out with her, for her and Noah's sake.