The Middle | ✔️

Chapter 59 (Noah)

Noah

As soon as I’m back at the dorms, I’m pacing my kitchen with my phone in my hand. Trying to decide what to do for the best. I should leave this. I should. So what if Jamie told me she likes me, even after finding out about my past? That doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change anything. I still don’t want a girlfriend. I don’t want anything from any girl, Jamie included.

After talking to her out on the balcony, I left Jay’s mansion immediately and walked home. I was shocked. I wasn’t in the best of moods, I’m still not. And I didn’t wanna be there in the first place. I checked outside by the pool before I left, and saw Zach sitting on an outdoor sofa next to a fire pit with Kim, looking pretty cosy. I decided not to bother him, and I just left.

But now? What now? What am I doing? What am I even considering right now? I have no fucking idea. I hate how tight my chest felt when Jamie was talking to me earlier. And I hate how shitty I felt when I told her she was wasting her time with me. Before I can stop myself, I’m dialling Sarah’s number.

First ring. Second ring. She’s busy, she won’t answer. Third ring. She’s gotta be out partying or something. Fourth ring. No, I’m gonna hang up.

“Hello?” Shit, she answered the call. Why am I even calling her?

“Hi, Sarah.” I say, followed by a short cough. My tone came across so deep and cold just then, I didn’t mean it to.

“Hi, Noah. What can I do for you?” She asks. There’s a little background noise, likes she’s stepped outside from somewhere.

“Can you talk? What are you doing?” I ask her.

“I’m at a party, I’m out on the balcony now though. I can talk. Everything okay?”

Of course she’s out on the balcony. Perfect. I take a deep breath. I can do this.

“Sarah, you and me… We would never have worked out, right?” I ask the question quickly, hoping maybe she didn’t quite hear. Because I am not gonna ask twice.

“Are you kidding me?” She asks, not unkindly. “You know we wouldn’t have worked out romantically, Noah. That was never on the cards for us. We were just young friends who decided to do something together for the first time… But never again.”

“Never again.” I agree. Sex with Sarah was awful. I guess no one really has a good time the first time they do it, but God, it was just weird and awkward. Sleeping with a friend is never a good idea. Sarah and I are lucky it didn’t ruin our friendship to be honest.

“Why are you asking me this, Noah?” She asks into the phone. “Particularly, at 10:30pm on a Saturday night? Are you drunk?”

“No, I’m not.” I answer honestly. Then I hesitate. But she waits for me to say more. “I was at a party, over at Jamie’s friend’s house…”

“Oh, I see.” She says.

“What?” I snap. She’s making her own conclusion about whatever I was calling to tell her.

“Something happened with Jamie tonight.” Sarah states.

“Not exactly.” I murmur, while rubbing my temple with my free hand. I really hate this. “Well, I saw her make out with some guy, then I talked to her and, I don’t know. It didn’t exactly go well.”

“Okay.” Sarah says, followed by a pause. “And why are you calling me up to tell me this?”

I sigh. She’s got me. “Because… I can’t stop thinking about her, okay? I need help. Advice. Support. Anything! I don’t know what to do for the best. I don’t wanna treat her bad, but I don’t wanna date her or anything like that either. I don’t know what to do about her anymore. What do I do, Sarah?”