I have a child?! {z.m}

Chapter 55

Ariana's POV:

Zayn fell asleep around 4am. I watched him do his best to keep his eyes opened and to be with me but his body fought him until he finally gave in and let himself rest. I appreciate the fact that he wants to comfort me at all times but I know that he too, is human.

He may be asleep but his body feels wide awake as his arms hold onto me with all of his strength. Not literally, but he is using quite a bit of muscle to secure me tightly against him. His presence makes me the slightest bit more comfortable during this devastating time.

I felt the heat rise behind my eyes again. Haven't I cried enough? I've cried enough for forty five million people all in an amount of hours.

Careful not to wake Zayn, I lean up and look at his alarm clock. It read six fifty four. The sun should be rising soon and the alarm should be ringing too. Our flight leaves at 9am sharp.

I try to fall asleep in Zayn's arms but my mind won't let me relax. The words 'Grandpa died' had been haunting me ever since the phone call. What the hell am I supposed to do?

I scoot closer to Zayn and move around to try to comfort myself but I fail miserably. My shirt decides to twist and my pants decide to give me a wedgie.

I whine to myself and try to adjust myself again but after a few tries, I feel Zayn's hands run down my arms and stop at my hands. He laces our fingers together and holds my hands down so I can't move.

"Can't sit still, can you?" He asked, his voice groggy. I look at his face and watch his eyes peak open to look at me. He blinks a few times before his eyes focus on mine.

"Sorry." I said softly.

He sits up more and pulls me with him. The darkness of the room prevents me from being able to read his face.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep. Did you sleep?" He asked, kissing my forehead briefly.

"No." I mumbled. "How can I?"

"I understand." He said quietly. "I'm really sorry, baby. I really am. I'm going to be there for you this whole time, okay? I'm going to do my best to make you feel better."

I nodded quickly, so vulnerable. My vision is blurred once and the liquid runs down my cheeks again. Zayn puts my hair behind my ears with his hands and runs his fingers through it.

"I just want to die. I don't want to live anymore." I cried, hopelessly. "Life sucks. I hate living. Why do the people we love have to leave?"

"Look at me." He instructed and I did. I looked at the sparkle in his eyes. "Don't you dare say you want to die. I never, and I mean never, want to hear you ever say that again. I can't believe you would say that- even while you're going through this hard time."

"Zay-"

"Stop. I'm serious right now. You still have your grandma, your mother, me, you have your baby girl Delaney, you have your brother, the people who you work with, you have your fans. Don't you ever say that again, okay? Because that breaks my heart." He explained, his tone strict and I knew he was being dead serious. I felt bad.

"I'm sorry." I cried. "It's how I feel, okay? I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry this has happened. I don't know why we lose the people we love most. I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you, baby. That's why it makes me really upset when you say that you want to die." He caressed my cheek with his thumb, brushing away the tears along the way.

We laid for a while and the whole time he looked at me with sad eyes. He would occasionally run his fingers through my ratty hair or caress my forearm. Time went by and we were both on our feet, packing what we would need to take to Florida.