Shattered Glass

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spooktober.09


⚠️Panic attack trigger warning!⚠️


⚠️SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME SPOILERS!⚠️
























(kind of!)

(kind of!)

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Peter fell through the window, shattering the glass and scattering it across the floor. He groaned and sits up slightly. He sees himself reflecting into the glass and widens his eyes.

Fear strikes through him suddenly, and he scrambles away, standing up and trying to get a grip on reality before things get even worse. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. Peter frowns and takes a deep breath, taking notice of his surroundings.

This was a difficult thing to do when Peter was expecting the surroundings to change in a second. Expecting his worst fear to suddenly be in front of him. Expecting the floor to open up and swallow him in darkness. Because of these expectations, he tried to take in as much of what was around him at once. 

It made things worse.

Peter made himself overwhelmed by trying to concentrate on memorizing so much. He was hyperventilating now, stumbling backwards. His back hit a wall, and something in the back of his mind told him he was in an alleyway now, judging by the bricks next to him.

His mind kept flashing to the glass. His heart pounded and he tried to forget. Forget about Beck. Forget about the glasses. The drones, the destruction, the illusions—

He couldn't focus on what was around him anymore, and his breathing was out of control. He was spiraling. His thoughts only reminded him of the past and the current situation of how he wasn't able to get himself calm. Peter also thought about how he was crying.

Peter thought about too much. His mind raced and spun too quick for him to understand what he was actually thinking about, which stressed him out even more. He wanted to call somebody. No, he needed to call somebody.

"Karen." He stutters breathlessly. "Karen, you h-have to call someone. I—I can't do it. I can't, K-Karen."

"Who would you like me to call?" Karen asks calmly. Peter notices briefly that there's pressure on his chest. And he can faintly hear a heartbeat in his ears; one much calmer than his own. Peter figures it was probably a panic attack protocol that Tony had installed after—Well, everything, quite frankly.

"I-I don't know, j-just say them all."

"Listing all contact names," Karen speaks. "Alert me when you want me to call one of them. May. Happy. Ned."

The contact photos flashed in his mask as she continued on. "Pepper. Flash. Michelle."

The photos of his friends made him spiral even further, guilt clouding his head. "I—Just call Tony," Peter says quickly.

"Calling Tony Stark."

Peter wraps his arms around his knees, trying to warm the panicked chill in his bones. It doesn't work.

"Hey kiddo," Tony greets. "What's up?"

"I-I need someone to talk to," Peter sniffles. "Whatever p-panic—Whatever panic attack protocol you set i-isn't working and I'm really freaking out."

"Okay," Tony says seriously. "Do you need me to come pick you up?"

"...yes please."

"Okay." The sounds of the Iron Man suit assembling is heard over the phone. Then the sound of it blasting off. "Keep me on the phone, okay kid?"

"Oka-y," Peter's voice wavers. He sounds exactly like Morgan after a nightmare. It makes Tony speed up more.

"Breathe in deep, okay? Five seconds. You can do it," Tony instructs. He breathes in deeply so Peter can repeat after him. He does. He's weaker than Tony, but he does breathe in. Tony counts it as a win. "Out for four. You've got this Pete. You've done it before. You know you can do it. I believe in you."

Peter shuts his eyes, hugging himself tighter to the wall. He lets his breath out for four seconds. It does help with the hyperventilating part, but not the overwhelming-panic-clawing-his lungs-like-an-angry-tiger part. He keeps his eyes closed, not wanting to open them and see something terrible.

"Kid," Tony says quietly. "You can open your eyes. It's okay."

Peter slowly opens his eyes, seeing Tony there. The suit is behind him. Tony crouches down to get on Peter's level and then holds out his arms.

Peter yanks off his mask and shakily crawls into Tony's arms.

Tony holds him close. "It's okay, Peter. You're alright."

Tony takes another deep breath, urging Peter to follow. Peter takes a second and then joins in. 

They stay like that for a while, just sitting and breathing until the panic-filled balloon in Peter's chest deflated.

Peter never liked to tell Ned, MJ, Happy..or really anybody about his panic attacks. May was an exception. The first few times, he was nervous about telling Tony because he didn't want it to be awkward.

But now?

Tony pulls away once he's sure Peter is alright, and then stands up. "It feels like an ice-cream day. C'mon, let's go."

That was that, for Tony. Simple. Like nothing ever happened. Peter felt comfortable with this.

For some reason, the simplicity of it gave him hope that he'll be okay.

And Tony reminded him that everyday.

He'll be okay.

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