Spider-Son & Iron Dad one shots

Peter and Tony Quote Vines: The Thrilling Saga

A/N: ahah... welcome once again

Peter and Tony were relatively quiet as they worked today. Things would have been peaceful the whole time, but then Tony had suddenly remembered that he had forgotten to check the logs left on Peter's suit from the last few patrols.

The first log was Peter flipping forward and sitting on a lamppost, balancing himself relatively quickly as he muttered: "I have osteoporosis."

Tony rolls his eyes fondly and skips ahead, scrolling through the data of his vitals monitor. There was nothing too serious, so he skipped to the next day.

After another pretty slow patrol, Tony finally scrolled to footage of Peter actually confronting a criminal.

"So. What do they call you again? The Spider-Boy?" The criminal seethes.

The Peter currently sitting next to Tony freezes, as if caught doing something he shouldn't have.

Meanwhile, the Peter on the screen shoots back a remark. "My name's ChAkaOoFka and my dad knows god—"

In the monitor, there's the visual of several knives suddenly being thrown. Spider-Man luckily had dodged almost all of them, except one that landed right in his side. "OUCH—"

Tony pauses the clip and turns in his office chair, the only sound in the room being the wheels of the chair slowly rolling in a circle as he looked at Peter. His eyes were blank and tired, and his mouth was set in a firm line.

"In my defense," Peter starts. "I did get stabbed in the stomach, but I almost broke my elbow trying to—"

"I'm about to say it—" Tony cuts in.

"Get away from that criminal—" Peter's voice continues over him.

"I don't care that you broke your elbow."

There's a silence between them for a moment.

Peter mumbles a meek apology before turning back to his work. Tony stares awkwardly before doing the same.

The pinched silence continues until Peter leaves later that evening, with a promise to try not to get stabbed again.

——

Rhodey was half terrified of Peter Parker.

For one, Peter was just... strange.

Nobody is supposed to walk on the ceiling and not have their entire face go red from blood rush. Nobody is supposed to walk on the ceiling, period. And yet.

Not only that, but the kid is exactly what it says on the tin. A child. A literal child.

He once saw Peter eat an entire family sized box of Lucky Charms, and when he puked it up after doing a flip off of the counter—he went to grab more food.

He once saw Peter fall down the stairs, and when he went to go help the kid up, Peter said: "Why has-eth the steps betrayed-eth me?" And then continued to laugh for about ten minutes afterwards because apparently that was a joke.

Now, Peter was scary all by himself. But what really made Rhodey unsettled was when Peter was in the room with his best friend.

Tony and Peter had gotten along incredibly well. So well, in fact, that they could communicate in the slightest twitch of an eyebrow. It terrified Rhodey to no end.

And apparently Tony never saw how frightening the child was, so Rhodey tried bringing it up constantly. Every time, Tony would just laugh, leaving Rhodey to shake in fear (about the rascal of a teenager) right next to Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes.