We Can't

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ROSIE'S POV

I lift my steaming hot coffee mug to my lips and let the warm liquid melt through me, calming my body. Lisa should be here any second. And, what I wanted to say to her was going to change everything. But she was taking what felt like forever. The ticking of the clock in my empty classroom was making my anticipation and anxiety rise. The class was going to start in 20 minutes and she still wasn't here.

I've never before realised how much Lisa was on my mind. She's all I seem to think about. Her hair, her lips, her eyes, her laugh, her chest, her legs... just everything.

Over and over again in my head, I've debated what I was going to say to her. And I couldn't seem to find a way of saying what I wanted to say properly. I didn't want it to come out harshly, but I knew that whatever I was going to say would upset her. I spent all last night wide awake, itching to text her, call her, tell her to come over, anything. If circumstances were different, she could be mine right now. Everything could be different.

Two sharp knocks at the door of my classroom echoed through, sending my heart both sinking and pounding. A small "Miss?", followed by a gorgeous face. She had her hair in a bun today, her bangs elegantly combed through, making her face look like that of a doll. She walked in slowly, dragging her white shoes across the floor. But it was her clothes of choice that made my eyes glue straight to that body of hers.

A crop top. Seriously? She's making it so damn hard for me not to look at that toned stomach dammit. And those jeans? Fucking black skinny jeans that hugged every curve to perfection.

"Hey, Miss. you wanted to see me?" She was fidgeting a lot. Picking at her nails, tapping her hands on her thighs and fiddling with the hair tie on her wrist. I laughed a little on the inside, thinking about how she was still calling me miss after the makeout session that had happened in my kitchen yesterday.

"Um, yes I did. I actually wanted to speak to you about what happened yesterday."

Literally, nothing could prepare my heart for the shy smile that she gave me. I wanted to pull her in and tell her how cute she was and kiss her again. Just to see that smile.

But I couldn't. 



LISA'S POV

When she mentioned the kiss, my heart raced and I could feel my hands getting all sweaty. Her effect on me is mind-blowing. I had been up all night thinking about it, about her. I have never been more excited to come to school than I was this morning.

I was excited about running in the mornings, for tutoring. I was excited to see her.

"About yesterday..." Her voice trails off and immediately I sense that something isn't right, "that wasn't exactly the way a teacher should behave. I was extremely unprofessional and I don't think it can happen again. I'm sorry"

Oh.

No.

"Oh... I understand. I'm sorry" My heart sank. She regrets it. I've ruined what we had. She probably hates me.

In a flash, I can see her not showing up to spend time with me in the mornings. I can see her declining my calls and not offering to tutor me anymore. And it hurt. She is something I have grown so used to.

"Oh god, please don't be sorry" she rushes over to me and wraps her arms around me, pulling me close. "Please don't apologise. I should be sorry. What I did wasn't the best choice to make."

"Yeah... I get it" I don't even hug her back. I just stand there while she rubs my back and try my best not to cry. She doesn't like me. She said that kissing me was a mistake.

Tears well up in my eyes and I don't think I can hold them in. A single drop runs down my cheek and onto Miss Park's bare shoulder.

She pulls away from the hug and looks into my eyes. Immediately I curse myself for being so weak in front of her. She fucking kissed me once. What am I crying about? There is nothing to cry about.

A shaking hand reaches up and gently wipes the tear stain from my cheek. The stroking of her thumb against my wet skin is so comforting, yet agonising.

I need to leave.

I pull away from her. But, before I could get to the door, I'm ripped from my senses and plunged straight into numbness. Her lips are on mine again. The sweet taste of her lip balm on my tastebuds. Her tongue pokes at the entrance of my mouth and I accept it with absolutely no thought.

Her small body completely wrapped up in my arms. I'm kissing her again. I don't think I'll ever forget what it's like to kiss her. Every moment is so full of passion and emotion, it's like she's pouring herself into you.

Our breath falls short and she breaks the kiss to catch it.

"Lisa, this is so wrong."

"I know..."

She pulls away from me for the final time.

"I think you should leave... we can't do this".

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