Hold My Hand

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"You still want to do this?" With one hand still on the wheel, Rosie reaches over to my lap and interlocks our fingers, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. "If you don't I can just park the car on the hill and we can sit on the hood and look at the lights from there?"

"No baby, I want to see the lights up close with you!" I squeeze her hand in return.

I had been waiting for three whole weeks for this night to come. Our first time out in public together. Of course, it was risky. But, we've been so careful and we have every little detail of tonight planned out. Such as what we are wearing, where we are going to park the car, and what we are going to do if we see someone that we know.

The last three weeks have been... eventful. That's probably the best word I could use to describe it. I've now had a total of four sleepovers at Rosie's house, each time telling my mum I was just going over Jennie's. These sleepovers all consisted of pretty random conversations late at night, and a few close calls when it comes to getting hot and heavy.

So far we've been driving for just over an hour, for the light festival was all the way across Melbourne, and the traffic was definitely not light. For around 75% of the trip I've been staring at Rosie's jaw, the way it clenches when she gets a little mad at the cars in front of us. Her hair was brushed behind her ear, giving me the perfect view of her neck and jaw.

"Lisa, if you keep looking at me like that I might have to pull over" she glances at me out the corner of her eye and one side of her lips raise. I'm surprised she can see me so clearly, because it's just about nightfall.

"Maybe you should pull over..." I let go of her hand and run my fingers up her thigh. I don't know where this side of me came from.

"As much as I want to, we're here". She jerks the steering wheel and pulls into a small clearing, a lookout visible at the top. "So we will have to just walk down there to get onto the Main Street, that's where the show always is. You pretty much just walk along this huge street where they're are people doing all these cool things, all of the trees have been covered in lights and it's really beautiful to look at. And there are fireworks later tonight so we can stay for them too!"

We hop out of the car and grab our hats and masks. We are both wearing pretty cover up clothing; jeans, vans or converse, and a stylish but comfortable jacket. Rosie has her hair out with a black bucket hat on, while I'm sporting a cap. With our masks on it's not that easy to tell who we are, we will just blend in with nearly every asian in the crowd.

The street that we have to walk down in order to reach the main is dark and silent. Our footsteps can be heard echoing on the tarmac. We walk at a quick pace and my girlfriend grabs hold of my bicep, her nails would have most definitely been piercing my skin if it wasn't for my coat.

"Baby, could you hold on any tighter?" She let's go a little and mutters a sorry. "Don't be sorry... I like it".

We turn into the very end of the Main Street, where there is only a handful of people. But, it's obvious that the crowd will grow by lots as we continue walking. I stop walking and pull against Rosie's arm go stop her as well. We look out at the busy street ahead and I can tell she's feeling the same way that I do. But instead of turning back, Rosie slides her hand down my arm and clasps my fingers, lacing them together.

With a newfound sense of confidence and comfort, I hold onto her warm, delicate hand and pull her out onto the more crowded area of the street. Well... here we are. A forbidden relationship on a date, out in the open. Rows of light pink illuminated trees lined either side of the street, lighting up the walkway. As we strolled along the street the lights changed colour slowly, turning from pink, to blue, to gold.

Performers in costumes covered in lights walked the street spinning a glowing baton, forming illusions that would disappear as quick as they were created. The lights were set to the perfect setting, bright enough to cast enough light upon the crowd, but not enough for anyone to recognise the student and her teacher holding hands.

With the rows of trees behind us, Rosie and I entered into the main strip of road. Hundreds of people, young and old, flooded the street where 6 or seven performers wore an asian dragon costume. The girl next to me stopped walking to admire the light streaming off of this ancient masterpiece, while I stopped to admire her. Her perfect eyes, her perfect smile, her perfect skin. Everything.

"What?" I'd been so focused on her, that I hadn't even notice her looking back at me.

"Nothing... you're just beautiful".

Although her mask is covering her mouth, I can tell from the way her eyes squint that she is smiling. Her smile that she makes when she's shy. She leans into me and presses her forehead against my shoulder, trying to hide her already well hidden face.

When she finally resurfaces and recovers from her embarrassed but cute as hell state, she walks ahead of me a little, pulling me along behind her.

I could see the main light attraction up ahead, but not extremely well. But, when we finally got there, my breath was stolen from my lungs. It was beautiful.

 It was beautiful

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"Wow..." was all I could muster.

"Can you take my picture with it?" Rosie hands me her iPhone and runs over to stand in front of the giant tree. She waits for me to point the camera at her before striking a few different poses, all of which made my heart flutter.

She runs back to me and I turn the phone around to show her the photos that I just took. "Now let me take some of you!" She pushes me towards the tree and bends a little to get what I hope is a good angle. Feeling a little awkward I pull a few poses while she laughs at me.

"Excuse me!" Rosie walks over to a middle aged man and who I assume is his wife "can you take a picture of my girlfriend and I in front of the tree please?"

She puts her arm around my waist and pulls me into her side, both of us giggling as the man took our photo. He was really patient with us, asking us if we wanted it landscape or portrait, and offering to take more of us in different poses. Sometimes people like that make you forget the things that are bad in the world.

We both bowed to him once he had given us our phone back and Rosie opened the camera roll so we could have a look at how they turned out. Halfway through Rosie scrolling, an ear splitting bang causes us both to jump and let out a squeal.

Our attention is dragged upwards, where bursts of colour and light have captivated the crowd. The fiery sparks shoot through the sky, bursting into magnificent explosions of colour on the dark, blank canvas. Each one creating a pattern not like the previous. Arms slide around my waist from behind as I look at the sky, and the aroma of familiar perfume takes over my sense of smell.

I lean my head backwards onto the shoulder behind me, my interest in the fireworks slowly slipping away as I listen to the breathing that is right next to my ear. One of the many sounds she makes that I want to cram into my brain forever.

She leans in closer to my head and I can feel her breath on my neck. In the chaos of the fireworks, I can still hear her words in my ear, voice just above a whisper.

"I love you"

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