It's Lisa

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ROSIE POV

*Ring*

Who the actual fuck is calling me at 5.15 am? I sigh and roll over, my bedside table vibrating along violently with my phone. I nearly blind myself with the glowing light of my phone, the caller name flashing across the screen.

"Jennie? Why are you calling me at 5 am, sweetie? Is everything okay?" The concern and panic is obvious in my voice. "You're not hurt are you?"

My heart rate picks up when I can hear stifled sobs along with sniffles, like she was crying. My teacher mode locks in and I panic about the student on the other end of the line.

"Jennie, do you need me to come and pick you up from somewhere? Tell me what's wrong, sweetie." It takes a few more moments of listening to Jennie calm herself down before she speaks, by this time I'm out of bed and putting on some pants so I can grab my keys and go to her.

"It's Lisa".

I freeze in my position, looking in the mirror right next to me I can visibly see the colour draining from my face. No no no no. Was she hurt?

"What about Lisa?" My voice was quiet and shaky. I was scared of her answer. I have to know what's wrong with her, as much as I don't want to believe it. The worst possible thoughts running through my head, making everything inside of me panic.

"She was shot... they don't think she's going to make it..."

The world turns silent as my phone clatters to the floor. The sounds. The smell. The feeling. Everything was simply gone. And I just stand there, refusing to process what I was just told. But, it doesn't last for long. I can feel myself unravelling.

My knees smack against the floor as I hit the ground, my hands clutching at nothing. I open my mouth to scream, but there's no sound. It was as if I had gone mute. Never in my whole life had I ever felt anything so fucking painful. The knife that was once jammed into my side 2 years ago did not even compare to this type of hurt.

My body quivers violently while silent sobs pierce through me, as if someone was shaking me forcefully. My ribs burned from the constant rough intake of breath, gasping for air that wasn't there as I hyperventilated.

My eyes saw nothing. It's like they have lost sight completely. My senses all either fucked up or non existent. Will I have to live without her? I don't think I can do it. I'm not ready.

My mouth is stuck open, trapped in what seems to be an eternal, silent scream, not a sound to be heard. Saliva gathering around my mouth, dripping onto the cold floor beneath me. My heart fighting to break free from my chest.

Finally, the tears come, the flood gates bust opens allowing tears to fall forwards. Spilling out of my eyes like water from a dam. Running down my face to mix with a mess of saliva and snot. My breathing increased, heavier than I have ever experienced before. I felt as if my soul wanted to break loose from my skin. It physically hurt my chest to breathe. Like I was trying to inhale air that didn't exist.

This is what true hurt felt like. And fuck, I could never wish this upon anyone. It felt like part of me was dying.

I throw my head back, balling my fists. I did the only thing I could think of doing. I let out a blood curdling scream. I was beyond reason, so much raw pain fighting to make itself known. The small light that burned constantly since I met her was slowly fading.

If she doesn't make it... what am I supposed to do with myself?

I could never love anyone this way again.

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