Kalopsia [chaelisa]✔

Jealous Of Jennie~28 [unedited]

"Is it okay if I take her to my friend?" Lisa asked Luna as she had offered to babysit the toddler. Luna smiled and nodded. "Of course you can. Is it Rosé? From the beach?". Lisa furrowed her eyebrows slightly and nodded, "Yeah... how do you know it would be her?"

Luna grinned and shrugged, "Just a lucky guess. I got to go now tho" she said and got up so she could go grab her jacket. Even though it was summer in the evenings it could be a bit chilly, especially in the morning when Luna got off. Lisa also rose to her feet but winced a bit when she lifted up the toddler.

"You okay?" Luna asked concerned but the teen just send her a smile and nodded. "I'm good. I will see you. Please take care at your night shift. And get enough sleep after."

Luna smiled and kissed her friends cheek before kissing her daughter goodbye.

Soon enough Lisa walked out of the apartment with the small child in her arms and the bag on her shoulder.

It was the afternoon already.

Yet it was less then twelve hours ago Lisa had heard that she was unable to have children.

How she was processing it? She didn't know.

She was going on her way to Rosé with the little one as she knew that she needed the company of her friend. And maybe of Elkie too.

***

"You're so sweet for babysitting Elkie." Rosé smiled as Lisa her eyes were focused on the now peacefully sleeping toddler.

Lisa smiled sadly and bit her lip. "I guess."

There was a slight awkward tension and Rosé leaned back against her headboard. "How was the hospital visit? Are you okay?"

Lisa tensed up slightly but nodded. "Yes I am... I am o-okay." She suddenly started to cry softly and Rosé scooted closer, wrapping her arms around her friend. "What is wrong Lili?" She mumbled but Lisa only started to cry harder. She wrapped her own arms around the older girl and buried her face in her friends shirt.

Lisa wasn't able to hold in all the pent up pain. The pent up hurt.

She was hurt by her father who used her again as if she was his money making toy. As if she wasn't a person but just a body to be used. It hurt her badly, even if she tried to tell herself that it didn't matter too much. That she wasn't bothered by it.

She was hurting because of the times that Minjae had used her body for himself. Had used her as if she was a fuck toy. But what could she expect as it was her father who portrayed her to just be that. His little fuck toy. His little toy.

She was hurting because in this all her mother wasn't there for her. Her mother wasn't there to dry her tears. She wasn't there to help her with her first period. She wasn't there to hold her hands during shots. She wasn't able to encourage her. To push through. Her mother wasn't there to tell her father to stop. Her umma wasn't there for her. And she hated it. It hurt her so badly.

She was hurting because of her father hitting her once they got home. He hadn't hit her in a while yet that day he decided that he had the right to. She had a slightly bruised side, a small cut on her lower stomach and her knew that she had another bruise on her thigh. Her arm hurt too from him forcefully dragging her. She understood him though. His already shitty daughter couldn't give him one of the only things he wanted. There wasn't a reason for him to comfort his daughter. All he could think about was the money he would lose. The fact that his daughter knew that she lost the ability to have children didn't even cross his mind. He was selfish. And that was painful.

But mostly she was hurting because she knew that she would never be able to start a family. If she ended up with a guy she couldn't make a baby with him. She wouldn't be able to have a mini mixture of them running around. If she was with a girl she wouldn't be able to birth their children. She wasn't obsessed with starting a family but she knew, since a young age, that she would love to have at least one or two children. She would give them all the love she had. She would be able to give them whatever they wanted and she knew that she would support them in everything. She would try to make them happy and let them enjoy life. She would be there for them.

She would be everything to them that her father wasn't to her.

Sometimes she got jealous of Jennie. She never let it show but she wished she had a younger person to take care of. She wished she had a sibling who she could sing bed time songs to and read bed time stories with. She wished that she, right know, would be able to give the love that she didn't receive to them. Now that she had Elkie in her life too it seemed to be a bit better. She tried to be there for the little girl as often as she could. It seemed as if she cared for Elkie and Layla like they were her own siblings. Siblings that she herself didn't have.

And now she also heard that she would never have her own offspring.

Why did God do this to her? What did she do to deserve this?

Did she ever do wrong? She tried to always be good. Wasn't that enough?

Chaeyoung softly hummed a song as she was rubbing her crying friends back. It seemed as if the girl had been crying for at least an hour already. The heart breaking sobs broke Rosé her heart and she pulled Lisa closer.

"I..." Lisa sniffled and tried to wipe her tears away. Her bottom lip started to tremble again and she looked with such big puffy brown eyes at her friend that Rosé started to tear up too. "Please talk to me baby.' Rosé mumbled sadly. Neither of them focused on the slipped word and Lisa broke down again. She cuddled even closer into her friend who seemed to feel helpless. The older girl just ran her fingers through her friends soft hair and bit her lip.

"I can't... have... babies." Lisa cried softly and Rosé furrowed her eyebrow for a split second before her eyes grew big. Now she felt even more helpless. What was she supposed to say?

I'm sorry? That sucks? That's horrible? All of them sounded so... She couldn't think of the word. But they just didn't feel enough. Yet she really didn't know what to say.

"I got you..." Was all she eventually whispered in her friends ear.

Those words meant a lot to Lisa.

There was someone for her.

She wasn't alone.

For the first time in a long time she didn't feel alone.

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I'm on the roll

Do you guys think that I am dragging this story too long? (So like focusing too much on individual days) and should hurry with the story? Because I am already at chapter 28 and only now ChaeLisa will slowly appear and shit with Jisoo is about to go down?

Anyways thank you for reading💙💙