Kalopsia [chaelisa]✔

Honey Filled Words~35 [unedited]

~trigger warning (sorry)~

"I don't know Rosie..." Jisoo furrowed her eyebrows and turned to look at Jennie, waiting for her comment.

"She recently broke up with her boyfriend. I mean, we all learned, heard and read that it isn't a smart idea to date right after a break up. Feelings can be misjudged and they don't have to be genuine."

Chaeyoung groaned and dramatically laid completely down on the bed, knocking over a bowl with popcorn.

"The popcorn!" Jisoo exclaimed as the white snack was covering a part of the bed. Some pieces were even in Rosé her hair, but she could care less.

"So you think that she doesn't like me but is just using me as a rebound for her recent break up?"

Jisoo put a few pieces of popcorn in her mouth and shook her head. "I'm not saying that she is doing that. I am just saying that there is a big chance that she is doing that."

Rosé rolled her eyes and sighed. That didn't help a lot.

After their time spend together on the island Lisa had dropped her off at home. They had really enjoyed their time together and both felt as if they were in the seventh heaven.

The following days, however, it seemed as if Lisa had slightly been ignoring her. Ignoring them.

She did text them to say that everything was settled and that Jennie and Layla their passports were almost ready, but that was it.

"Do you think that that is the reason that she is avoiding us?" Rosé asked sadly. "Because she doesn't want to see me? Because she realized that whatever it was wasn't really there?"

Jennie smiled reassuringly and squeezed her friends hand in her own. "I'm sure that that isn't the case. Don't worry Rosieposie."

But she did worry.

***

A silent cry escaped her lips as she was rocking herself back and forth. It felt as if she was pouring out her soul right then and there.

She felt horrible.

She felt useless.

She felt worthless.

She hated him with all her heart, all her soul and all her body.

She hated him with every fiber in her being.

Yet she loved him because he was all that she had left.

He was her everything, while she wanted him to be her nothing.

In the past she had told herself that she would get used to it, that she would become immune. That she would become so strong that it would do nothing but graze her heart of stone.

But after so many years, it still felt like small sharp knifes were cutting her heart of flesh.

Living flesh.

She wondered why she hadn't been able to become immune. Why she hadn't been able to toughen up.

She was still a weak cry baby, hurting the same way her younger self did.

If her mother would have still been alive, she would have held her. Draped a blanket over her and pulled her onto her lap.

They would have watched cartoon movies and drank something sweet. Something that made her feel better.

She would have dried her tears and soothed her with kind words like honey soothed a aching wound. She would have handled her with so much love and care that soon the bad things were forgotten.