||Pretenders||☄️

(53).

"She's her"

      Alicia held Maxwell's hand and dragged him out of the house. He took his hands off and bowed his head down. He was too foolish to take in all that drugs out of anger. His head ached and his heart burned. "Max," she called and rubbed her hand on his back. "Maxwell,"

    "Stop."

    "What should I stop?"

    "Stop calling my name. Something hurts." He said silently.

    "Can you wait here? Let me get some water and take you home." He didn't take his head up and she ran inside to get him water. Unfortunate for her, every liquid thing in there was all alcoholic. She had to keep looking.

     Maxwell heard footsteps get closer to him. He picked up his head and the same girl was standing in front of him, dressed up this time. She was beautiful, he thought. "Max," she called, her lips quivering. "Maxwell, are you okay?"

     "Who are you?" She shook her head and moved closer to him. "Hey," he was too drunk to take another step. She put her hand on his face and he felt her holding in her breath. Her hands carresed his face and he could not stop her. It did feel like she had his buttons. The more he looked at her, the more confused he got. She put her head on his shoulder for a brief moment and took it off. He was sure he wasn't the only one who heard that rapid heartbeat.

    "I am, happy to see you like this Ross."

    "I asked who you are." He sternly asked. She smiled once more and a flash appeared in his head. "Do I know you?"

    "I'm here to help you. Whatever is going on, you don't deserve it. Stop blaming yourself. You did nothing wrong."

     "What... what are you saying?"

    "Look back at what's been haunting you. Your answers are in there. I just want you to know, whatever happened, wasn't your fault. Those voices in your head, are real but none of that is your fault Ross. Those imperfections you think you have, are perfect to me. Every bit of it, was." She leaned to his ear and brushed her lips on it. "Because, I'll always and forever like the imperfect you." She stepped away and her voice echoed in his thoughts sending him a migraine. She held his hand and her cold hands topped it all up. That feel was iconic. "Take care." She slowly let go off his hand and walked away.

     "Hey!" He yelled at her to explain what she meant. The yell only made it worse. His head ached and his heart ached too. Series of flashes were going on in his head and he had no idea how to calm himself down in the open. It was unbearable and painful.

     Alicia ran outside with a bottle of water and her smile dropped at his emotions. She dropped the bottle of water and ran to him. "Max!" She yelled out his name. She held his hand and he was gasping for breath. "Max, what's wrong? Tell me what's happening."

    "I.. I... don't know. I don't know." He wasn't looking up at her. She held his hand tightly and let him look at her.

    "Let me take you home. You'll be fine."

   "I don't think so."

     "Just come with me." She held his hand and slowly walked with him to his car. "Let me drive."

    "It's okay. I'm good."

    "You're drunk."

    "I said I'm okay!" She shut up and sat down in the car. He joined her in the car and put his head on the steering wheel. Alicia held his hand and he slapped her hand off. He started his drive with a blurry mind and lots of unanswered questions. He was driving alright and in his thoughts, were the images he tried to picture for months.

    "Max, are you sure you're okay?"

     "Stop acting like you actually care about me. It's pissing me off. You cared enough to leave me all alone and fuck around with Jake, didn't you?" He asked angrily.

     "I was doing us some favors."

    "Oh yeah you did. I am really glad you let Jake fuck you."

    "Will you stop getting mad at me? I didn't do anything with Jake. Why are you acting like you did nothing wrong? You fucking let Kiera suck your dick in front of me. Stop complaining about who cares about who and let's get the fuck home." She eyed at him.

     "Why do you lie every single time?"

    "When did I lie?"

    "About every fucking thing! You expect me to open up to you but you're the one with real problems here! What the fuck did you do with your dead boyfriend? It seems you helped someone else to cover up some fuck up issues again. I'm wondering how many of that you you're hiding from everyone else. You are not yourself Alicia. I'm not even fucking sure you're actually here because you care about me!" He roared.

     "I care about you.."

     "Then fucking prove it!" He yelled on top of his voice. He looked ahead and his blurry images kicked back in. The car honks behind him and the heavy car light ahead made it difficult for him to focus. He swerved to the right side of the road in a rush and Alicia screamed at him to focus. Maxwell halted the car with a beating heart. He looked over at a shaking Alicia and his heart ached once more. He opened the door and stepped out of the car. He was disgusted at how stupid he can be. He could've hurt both of them.

      Alicia sat in the car breathing heavily. She watched Maxwell bow down his head. Alicia watched him puke out and stepped out of the car too. She stood behind him and rubbed her hand at his back. She heard his little sobs and felt really guilty for thinking her absence was going to make him okay. She was wrong. She did all that damage to him. She turned him around and hugged him.

     "I'm really sorry." She said. Maxwell squeezed onto her and she didn't stop patting him from the back. "I'm really sorry Max. Let me get you home please. I promise not to leave until you want me to."

     "You promise?" His voice was like a whisper and she closed her eyes to feel him closer.

     "I promise." She said. Alicia got him in the car and she sat at the drivers seat. She helped him tuck in the seatbelt and drove away. He told her where his new apartment was and she drove in silence. Alicia and Max made way to the apartment and he was heaving silently. He could not point what was wrong with him. His heart ached more than ever and it got Alicia worried.

     Alicia was wowed at the new place. It was two times of the old one. Maxwell walked into the first room and she followed. She helped him undress and he walked on his own to the bathroom. Alicia waited by the door for him and he cried under the shower for everything going on with him and why he always shows her his weak side. He wanted to be better and put a stop to the voices and blurry faces in his head.

     Maxwell wasted minutes there and came out with sore eyes. He walked away from her and got himself on his bed. He wished he could pretend everything was okay with him but the sore feelings and aching heart was getting severe. He buried his face in the bed, squeezing onto the sheets and grumbling. Alicia was saddened to see him go through something he couldn't fathom. She thought it was not her place to fill him in on the missing part of his life. She joined him in bed and cuddled him. She pulled him closer to her and she heard his angry sobs.

    "Can you please, wait outside?" He begged.

    "No, I want to be here. I'm here." He had so much he wanted to scream about.

    "Please," she looked at him and shook her head. "I don't want you to see me like this." she smiled at him and pecked on his forehead. Alicia pulled herself away and got up from the bed.

     Maxwell buried his face in the sheets and Alicia didn't take her eyes off how he was hurting on the bed. He lost himself on the bed and his screams made her cry as well.