Zain's choice ✔️

2. Wake up call

The moment I saw Marmie's missed call, I felt dread and melancholy. Weird right? She is my mom!

I stuck to being the true African child. We are filial even when we are gonna get crushed for it!

"Assalam Alaiki Marmie! Miss me?" I chirped into the phone so we don't start talking by sounding so grave we would begin to mistake our identities by getting carried away with all the ill feelings. For Allah's sake, we are not combatants in a field of war even if it feels like that all the time!

Am I a bad daughter? I don't know!

Also, I will probably end up crying afterwards. Does that make her a bad mother? I dont know that either.

I just know we are both humans.

"Mira I didn't call you so we joke about, it's the only thing you seem to be good at these days. What's wrong with you? Did I really raise you to be so selfish? Where did I go wrong with you!" She sounds like she is so close to tears.

Ahh.. The joys of being a Gaddo!

Marmie is clearly upset about something. I would not be surprised if she has been treated badly for what I have supposedly done.

"Marmie, please calm down. What is it this time?" I ask calmly.

I am a pro at this! I just act stupid and accept I am a huge disappointment. Shike nan. End of story. What can they really do? Of all the threats, they are not violent people!

"Mira please call Zain and ask him to take you back. Momsie Will not object. And everyone will be calm again. Please Mira, I am begging you as your mother okay?" She pleads with me.

"Aww Marmie. You want me to beg Zain to take me back?" I ask, my heart began to crack all over again. This is really kicking me in all the soft places!

"It's not like he chased you out. You guys only had a misunderstanding and he said you can go back whenever you wished. He still wants you Mira. Please stop being selfish and go back" she pleads.

This is the first direct attack I got from anyone that matters since I got divorced!

I tried to take it easy because of all the emotions ricocheting in my mind, heart and soul right now. It's all resonating with the past six to seven years of my life.

Indeed, the ones who love you bear the weapons to hurt you most!

I forced a chuckle and say "Marmie, this talk about going back koh? Just forget it. I am born selfish. I can't help my nature" I lied so she would get angry and hang up.

"Mira it's me, your mother! How dare you talk like that?!" She sounds outraged.

"Marmie, advise them to focus on Ali. By some strange stroke of luck, Zain seems to like her a bit. She is still family and she can also bring us Zain" I advised knowing fully that it will rile her further.

"It's okay. It's life Ai. What you reap is what you sow Mira. It's okay" Marmie sounds severely disturbed.

What are they doing to my mother to make her sound so desperate? I suddenly feel my heart breaking for her.

I expected it, so I am not really surprised that she hung up. And now she is crying. I know she is. I am such a bad bad daughter!

In this world where others live for that perfectly beautiful smile on their mother's faces, my mother is shedding tears because of me!

I caused this! Will I ever see blessings when I have only ever caused her pain?

I can't help it, the tears offer solace and so I prayed hard that a day comes when I no longer disappoint my mom!