Zain's choice ✔️

24: From different sides of a coin

Mira's POV

Sometimes in life, one only needs to change the window of perspective in which you see it all and remarkably, everything dissolves into a whole new world.

I won't lie and tell myself that I am hopelessly in love with him.

But peace lovers would need to prepare thoroughly as organized as those who love war.

And Momsie's words reminded me of who I was. Who I strived to be before I became something else.

I had strived for beauty in everything I did. My words, actions and mannerisms..

I had behaved with stained brevity and I lost who I was.

Anger changes a person. She was right. I shouldn't have held grudges.

So as I moved over my stuff from my room, I can see that Zain is just working on his laptop, ignoring me.

I made a little mattress with thick kilts. Then I lie there and faced the ceiling. I can't stop myself from thinking about things... everything.

"Zain, you never asked me why I pretended to be Jas" I state.

"I don't need to ask. I already know" he replies annoyingly enough.

"I doubt you do" I deny.

"Really? Do tell. Why will any girl wish to be Jas?" He asks with a hint of thoughtful mockery.

"Do not judge me before you can fully comprehend my pain" I whispered.

He is silent for a long while. I hear him close his laptop and he slips under his duvet. I thought he is going to ignore me and go to sleep. But then I heard him ask "why did you do it?"

It's in the peaking curiosity his voice projects, the plain question that took me off guard...

He seems as if he really wants to know.

A small smile played on my lips as I thought to myself 'Momsie is right. I make him think he is right and everything becomes easy.

"I thought if I broke your heart, your pain will make me feel better" I replied.

"You are lying Mira. Jas desperately wanted to be loved. I can feel her broken spirit. This goes well beyond what I did to you. My carelessness is what finally made you snap!" He returns with insight.

I couldn't face that truth coming from his own mouth so I remained silent.

"I was drawn to that passion inside you. That passion to want to use me in order to kill your neediness. You thought that if you brought me to my knees, you can raise the self esteem you have lost when I snubbed you" he continued with no regard to how much I detest facing those things!

"As worldly as Jas was, she was also very vulnerable. Every coy smile hid a wealth of emotions. Every seductive move, hid her desire to fall apart and give up. Yet, she didn't. I admired that courage inside her. That fire that fuels her passion had moved me" his voice had deepened when he says this, causing me to feel severely exposed.

"Jas was perfect. Her makeup hid her physical flaws. Her positivity hid her vulnerability. She was trying too hard. I always felt this need to lend her my strength, to heal her. Yet I don't know how. So I thought that if I treated her right, she will feel more relaxed around me. Enough to reveal herself to me" he continued to relate his own perspective. I hate how accurate he seems.