Chapter 15

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Anxious.

Stressed.

Depressed.

Five days had passed and I could not shake these emotions.

I tried my best to get positive and stay relaxed but it was a serious struggle. Ever since my nightmare, I kept getting random flashbacks and memories about my baby boy. I couldn't get rid of the anxiety I felt at the potential fear of losing my baby, despite my doctor coming over and reassuring me that both me and the baby were still healthy. Rio did his best to cheer me up and try to distract me but when he would leave for work, I couldn't stop the painful feeling that took over my chest.

Rio kept suggesting I go over to Beth's house but I just didn't feel up to it. So, I stayed home, not wanting to leave and even left my job after Rio assuring me it was completely fine to do so.

As I sit on the couch and try to find a tv show to watch, I suddenly hear a knock at the door. Deciding to ignore it, I continue to flip through the channels until I hear another knock. Letting out a groan, I get up and make my way over to the door and open it, to see none other than Eddy, Annie and Sadie.

"Hey, what are you guys doing here?" I ask as I open the door more to let them in.

"We thought we would come keep you company for the night." Annie says with a grin and that's when I notice they all have large back packs with them.

"Did a certain someone with a neck tattoo happen to contact you?" I ask with a raised brow, already knowing to well.

"Does it matter?" Annie asks raising her brow back at me and we both giggle.

"Well I hope you brought snacks." I say and she rolls her eyes.

"Why do you think I brought Eddy?" she says and I laugh.

"We brought your favorite movies too!" Sadie says and I grin.

"Thank you." I tell him as I pull him into a tight hug.

"I missed you." I say and he rolls his eyes with a smile on his face.

"I missed you too." he replies.

"Well how about you guys get a movie started and snacks going, I'm going to go take a quick shower and change into some comfy pjs and we will get this show on the road." I tell them and they all nod their heads.

I make my way upstairs and shower and change into my favorite, go-to onesie before making my way back down the stairs where I see Annie, Eddy and Sadie all seated on the couch with the movie A Haunted House ready to go and snacks and drinks on the coffee table.

As I settle into the  couch, I quickly grab some snacks along with me and sit back comfortably  and begin to eat as the movie plays

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As I settle into the couch, I quickly grab some snacks along with me and sit back comfortably and begin to eat as the movie plays.

"So, when do I get to tell Sadie the big news?" Annie whispers to me quietly.

"When I get to the end of my first trimester." I whisper back.

Once the movie is over, we watch the second one and then begin watching the Scary Movie series. By the end of the last movie, Sadie and Eddy are both passed out on the couch and me and Annie are quietly talking as we munch on some Chinese food that we ordered.

"So what's been going on?" she asks me softly and I let out a small sigh.

"I'm just not feeling like me. I'm anxious, stressed and depressed. I keep trying to pull myself out of the funk but I just can't seem to fully get away." I explain and she nods her head in understanding.

"I was thinking, maybe you could try writing a letter to your angel baby. Get all your feelings out, talk about your new baby, whatever you can think of related to him. Then when your finished we can burn it, collect the ashes and sprinkle it over his grave." Annie suggests and my eyes widen in surprise.

"Where did you get that idea?" I ask.

"I was doing some research on how to cope with it and seen a forum with a bunch of different people's suggestions and picked the best one I thought suited you." she admits and I smile.

"I love that idea Annie, thank you." I tell her as I pull her into a hug.

"My pleasure." she replies as she hugs me back.

As she pulls away, she lets out a yawn and I let out a small laugh.

"Well with that being said, I'm going to go to bed and let you get some sleep down here. I love you." I tell her as I get off the couch.

"Love you too Lena." she says as she gets comfortable next to Eddy.

I make my way up the stairs and go into mine and Rio's room. As I sit down on the bed, I open my bedside table and pull out a notebook and a pen and begin to write my letter to my little one in heaven. Hoping that this would help give me the closure and the healing that I deeply needed.

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