anxiety attacks at award shows (requested)

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This was your first event with Ariana.

You didn't exactly want to come. These kinds of things always make you nervous, which is why you usually don't tag along. But Ariana was up for a few awards in major categories and she wanted you to be by her side tonight. So, you swallowed back your fear and tagged along, for her.

The show was gonna start in about thirty minutes. Ariana was holding your hand as you walked inside. She smiled her way through the crowd of cameras and interviewers. She could feel your hand becoming sweaty within hers, but she didn't think much of it at first.

She didn't know that you were becoming anxious. The flashing lights, the yelling of the photographers asking for you to look a certain direction while interviewers bombarded you with personal questions that seemed intrusive to say the least, all made you wish you were anywhere but here.

You swallowed thickly and tried to hide your growing anxiety. It only got worse when you were inside and your eyes landed on some of the people you've looked up to for as long as you can remember. There were loud screams coming from fans and excited people inside.

You felt like your knees were gonna buckle underneath you. If you were feeling this way now how were you gonna feel as the night went on? How were you gonna handle it when Ariana was away from you when she had to go accept awards and take photos with people? How were you gonna handle the world's eyes on you?

Ariana had the happiest smile on her face and the brightest eyes when she turned to you, but her smile fell at the sight of you looking so anxious. She stopped walking and raised your intertwined hand, noticing how sweaty your palms were and how badly your hand was shaking.

She caught your eye and she saw the fear clouding them. She dragged you to the bathroom and locked the door behind you. By the time you were safely inside you could feel the anxiety attack in full force; your heart was racing and your breathing was unsteady. You fell to the floor, your knees too weak to stand on.

Ariana sat beside you and took your hand again.
"Y/n breathe," you shook your head quickly. "I-I can't." You felt her squeeze your hand reassuringly. "You can. Y/n, I know you can. Try to take some deep breaths for me. Look at me, look right into my eyes. I'm right here with you, you're safe. Just try to breathe for me."

You locked eyes, your teary ones meeting hers. You noticed how calm she seemed to be. She'd been with you through these before and she knows how important it is for her to stay calm when your attacks occur.

"I want it to end." You muttered quietly. "I know. It will. It's gonna be over soon. You're so brave and you'll get through it. I'm here with you and I'm not going anywhere." She whispered.

You could hear the announcement that it was gonna start in just a few minutes but Ariana didn't move. She continued to hold your hand; she was in no hurry to move. Her only priority was you and helping you feel better.

You never took your eyes off of her as you started to take deep breaths. When you felt that you couldn't or that it wasn't helping, Ariana would start to breathe with you and remind you that it was all okay.

It seemed to finally be passing over a few minutes later. Your forehead fell to her shoulder and her hand that wasn't intertwined with yours began to move up and down your back soothingly. "You okay? Are you feeling any better?"

You nodded wordlessly. "Do you think you can go out there? Or would you feel more comfortable at home?" You looked down at your hand in hers and then back up at her worried gaze. "You'll be next to me?"

"Absolutely. The only time I'll have to leave your side is if I win anything but I'll be right back by your side again before you know it. I promise you that, and you know I never break my promises to you."

She kissed your forehead, softly trailing her lips down to your cheek. "I wanna go back out there now."

"You sure?"

You nodded. "I know I'll be okay as long as I have you there with me."

She kissed you softly, smiling as the lipstick she left on your lips. She wiped it away with a giggle and then placed her forehead against yours. "I'm so proud of you. Come on, it's about to start and I have a few people I really wanna show you off to."

Your cheeks went pink but you stood up anyway. Although you still felt a little nervous, you knew it'd all be okay. You have Ariana there and you know you'll always be safe with her.

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