With All My Heart || Sodapop Curtis x Reader

Chapter 86

Your POV

I exhale and take a step back studying my newly packed suitcase. I didn't come here with much stuff. It was almost nine and my cab should be here any minute. 

"What am I doing?" I rest my head in my hands. 

Of course I had no idea. I loved Soda more than anything. But I'm afraid of how much I love him. The things Steve said really got to me. Maybe he was right. 

How could Sodapop Curtis ever love me.

It's hard to think that I'm just willing to throw what we had away with no explanation just because some bozo thinks we won't work out.  But we're young, we're so young. 

What would people think?

I was gonna go back to school next year, I'd have to deal with that, a job and a marriage. And who knows accidents happen, what if i got pregnant. 

There was no way we could support a baby. Soda can barely support himself at the DX. 

I don't want to become just another house wife. That's not who I am. 

This is for the best.

I pick up my suitcase and head downstairs. I stop on one of the steps to look at the Curtis family pictures. The boys baby pictures hang next to a family portrait with the late Mr and Mrs Curtis smiling with a chunky baby Ponyboy in their arms, a six year old Darry smiling and holding on to his young brother who has the same smile he has now. 

I smile to myself as tears fill my eyes.

I make my way to the front door and stop. This wasn't right I needed to say goodbye.

I found one of Pony's notebooks on the kitchen table and began.

My dearest Soda,

....

I kept writing even as my hot tears spill down my cheeks and onto the paper. Soaking the ink and creating spirals and blotches. I kept writing even as a poured heart onto the page. I even kept writing as the headlights of the cab shone through the front window. 

I stand up straight and look down at the page. 

"Goodbye Soda."

~Stay Gold Bitches