adore you // [h.s]

46

Audrey

After a long three weeks of standing in the cold for hours and hours, filming had finally ended. I enjoyed watching Harry film this music video. I think I liked the 'Adore You' music video more simply because he wrote that song for me. I don't know if I could choose a favorite if it came down to it though.

Harry had asked me to come back to his house in London for the remainder of this trip. He said he wanted to show me around which made my heart melt. He hinted that he may even take me back to Holmes Chapel to show me around.

I joked with him about taking me to the bakery where he once worked since he was so proud of that job. I teased and called him my 'little baker man', it did not go well. He called me 'Audrey' like what the hell is that? I know that's my birth name, but he is not allowed to call me that. He is only allowed to refer to me as 'baby' or 'sweet girl,' there are no exceptions.

A piece of me wondered why Harry would bring me to his home if he planned on leaving. Had he changed his mind? If he still planned on leaving after all this then I would be completely shattered. I don't want to get to travel through his younger years because it's gonna be hard to let him walk away.

I have always been scared to get attached to people. It's a scary thing to lose someone that you were once so close with, someone that was once such a big part in your life. It's hard to say goodbye, of course, but nothing is harder than trying to get used to living a life without that person. You're left constantly trying to fill the emptiness in your heart when they leave.

Now that I'm used to spending most of my days with Harry, I don't know if I could handle us being strangers again. How was I supposed to unlearn all his secrets? How could he expect me to forget everything I've learned? How could I forget the way he hid behind his hands when he blushed? Or the way he would read when he couldn't sleep? Or how he would cry when Ellie died in 'Up'? Or how cuddly he became when he was sick or tired?

I've known Harry for nearly a year now and I have learned so much about him. I have taken the time to learn every single secret, insecurity, or thought. I can't just forget him. I won't be able to fill the emptiness once he leaves. There will always be a hole in my heart. All this love that I have for him will remain.

I was pulled from my thoughts when Harry placed his hand over on my thigh. I jerked which caused Harry to chuckle.

"Where's your head at?"

I couldn't tell him the truth even if I knew that I needed to, "I was thinking about the music video." I lied.

Harry glanced over at me for a second. I guess he was trying to decipher if I was lying or not. "Do you have any questions for me?" He asked, pulling his eyes back to the road.

I didn't even have any mind rattling questions like I usually did, but I did wonder about the plot of this music video. I heard them mentioning a fish a lot on the set and it honestly left me so confused.

"Can you break down the storyline of the music video?"

Harry seemed surprised at my lack of questions. He's so used to me asking a million and ten questions all the time.

"I'm gonna try not to spoil the entire video because I really want you to see it once everything comes together. Plus, it'll make more sense when everything is completed." I nodded and smiled.

"The video starts out with me, lonely and desperate, trying to take my own life. Right before I get the chance, I notice this fish out of water. A fish out of water alludes to the idea of someone being different or uncomfortable in their surroundings. You'll understand that once you see the final product." I had a feeling that he was going to say that a lot, "Eventually this fish and I create an unbreakable bond. The fish and I are supposed to be portrayed with similar problems and situations."