adore you // [h.s]

69

Harry

Audrey was home before I got back from my morning jog. I can't say that seeing her car in the driveway didn't make me smile. I have never been happier to walk into the house and see her brewing our morning coffee.

"Hey, loverboy." Audrey said in a low tone as she walked a cup of coffee over to me, "I think I understand now."

I felt my heartbreak inside my chest. I have been dreading this day for months, but I knew that it was going to happen. I can't be mad at anyone but myself. I wish I had it in me to tell Audrey that I wanted her to come, but I knew it wasn't for the best. I haven't lost a single ounce of love for her, I still fall hopelessly in love with her every time I look at her. Audrey needed to grow and she couldn't do that if I kept her in a box.

"As much as it kills me to say this, I have to let you go." I could hear her voice cracking as she fought back her tears, "I don't want to say goodbye just yet, I want to spend this next week with you. I want to wake up and fall asleep next to you. I want to argue about who's making breakfast even though we both know I'm a terrible cook. I want to hear your new favorite poem because I know you already have one." She let out a soft chuckle while a tear rolled down her cheek. I wiped the tear away with the pad of my thumb. "I guess that dumbass saying really is true, if you really love someone then you have to let them go."

I don't want to let you go, Audrey Taylor.

"Can I please kiss you, baby?" I asked in a soft voice. Audrey didn't say anything, she just moved her lips to mine. The kiss was quick, but my knees were still turning to putty. "Maybe another?" She kissed me again. This kiss was a little bit longer than the first. "Okay, one more time?" Audrey giggled while she rolled her eyes. She pressed her lips to mine one more time.

I held Audrey in my arms for what felt like an eternity. I just wanted her close to me. For the next week, I was going to be stuck up her ass. I wanted to make as many memories this week that I could, so I could have enough to last me through the tour.

**

*One week later*

Audrey's been quiet all morning while she's helped me pack my bags. I can see how sad she is, but I know she's trying so hard to seem okay for me. I know because I'm doing the same thing. All I've wanted to do was cry my eyes out, but I don't want to break in front of her. I have done more than enough.

I will say that this past week has been the best week we've ever had. I will also say that this past week has only made saying goodbye to her so much harder. How am I supposed to look the love of my life in the eyes and say goodbye? How are you supposed to let someone go whenever you love them so damn much that it's hard to breathe without them?

"I think that's it," Audrey spoke in a low voice, "What time will Mitch and Sarah be here to get you?"

"We've got fifteen minutes." She just nodded while she shoved her hands into her back pockets, "Come here." She didn't hesitate as she hurried over to me.

Audrey wrapped her entire body around me, holding me closer than she's ever held me, "Would you be mad if I told you that I don't want to let you go? Does that sound selfish? I just want you to stay here with me, my love."

"I don't want to let you go either," I mumbled into the crook of her neck.

"I need you to know something," Audrey said while she moved to look me in the eyes, "I'm always going to adore you. You will always be my star, leading me home whenever I get lost. I am thankful for all the memories that we've made, and I hope that someday we find our way back to each other. You'll always be my loverboy." By the time Audrey was done talking, we both had tears running down our face.

"I'm always going to adore you." I said while I placed a kiss on the top of her head, "I promise that I'm always gonna come running home to you, sweet girl. Listen, I don't want you to wait around on me. If you happen to find another good-looking man, then by all means go for it."

"No one will ever replace you, loverboy." She giggled before she pulled herself back into my chest.

There was a loud knock at the front door before Mitch welcomed himself in, "Alright, loverboy, let's go!" He screamed as he jogged up the stairs. "Audrey, where's your bags? I'll start moving them out to the car."

"I'm afraid I'm not going, Mitchell," She said as she wiped her face. "I was kind of hoping I'd be gone before you got here, so I didn't have to say goodbye to you too." Mitch shot me an evil glare before he pulled her in for a hug. I heard him whisper something, but I couldn't understand what he said. "I better get going, I'm supposed to have a photoshoot in the next hour."

You're gonna do some big things, Audrey.

Audrey walked back over to me, hugging me even tighter than before. We both whispered our goodbyes before I kissed her one last time. I started to miss her before she was even out of the bedroom door.

"I'm going to beat your ass!" Mitch said as he shoved me, "You're letting the love of your life walk out of your life, why? How stupid could you be? That girl was willing to travel the world with you! No one else has ever cared enough to uproot their life for you Harry, and like the dumbass you are, you're just gonna let her go!"  I didn't say anything, I just dropped my head. "Grab your shit and let's go. We're going to be late."

Mitch and I loaded our things into the trunk of the car while Sarah sat upfront with a confused look on her face, "Where's Audrey?" She whispered to Mitch as he crawled into the car.

"Not coming." He spoke in short sentences. I knew I made him mad, hell, I made myself mad. I'm so damn stupid.

I knew that Mitch wasn't going to let this go. I was going to have to deal with this bullshit for the rest of the tour, but I deserved it.

**

*One month later*

The cold glass touched my lips as the sour taste of vodka wrapped itself around my throat. Every day, I drink and I drink to fill this hole in my chest but nothing works. I still feel empty, just like I did before I met Audrey.

I sat back and watched the sunrise through the bus window while I downed another glass. Sleep has been foreign to me ever since I let her go. I sank into the chair. My finger traced the rim of the glass while I fell into my thoughts.

I knew that I messed up leaving Audrey but there's nothing I could do. I guess I could pray that she waits for me, but how selfish can I be? How could I expect her to sit around and wait for me? Am I that pathetic? Maybe I really am an arrogant son of bitch.

I'm sitting here praying that she hasn't moved on, so I have someone to come running home to but I'm the one who moved out. I made the decision to let her whenever I really didn't have to. She should've came with me, I should've let her.

"You need to call her," Mitch's voice filled the air causing me to jump a little. I just shook my head. Mitch let out a deep sigh before he jerked the glass of vodka away from me.

No matter how much I wanted to, if I called her then I would be holding her back, and that kind of defeats the purpose of leaving her behind in the first place.

This is all my fault. I deserve this shit. I deserve to feel like shit because I am. I broke the one girl who meant the most to me in this world. I spent nearly two years of my life with her, and for some reason, I was so eager to run away. She was my fish and now I feel like I'm falling all over again.

I have to let her go, she deserves better than me.

**
One more chapter, are you all excited??