adore you // [h.s]

61

Audrey

I want to get better, I'm trying to get better. I'm doing the best that I can to move on and get past it. I will never understand why certain things have happened to me, but I can't change that they have. The things I have been through have helped me grow into a beautiful person, but I will admit I feel like I've been forced into maturing.

I've been through so much ever since I turned twenty, and some days I catch myself being envious of nineteen-year-old Audrey. I can remember feeling so free, never worrying about tomorrow. I was so naive back then, but that changed overnight. I grew up overnight.

The scary thing is knowing I'm not the only one out there. I'm not the only person who fears for her life every time they are in public. I'm not the only one who had to grow up overnight. I'm not the first and I won't be the last. Do you understand how incredibly heartbreaking that is?

Harry was trying, I'll give him that. He was slowly coming around again, but he still wasn't back to being my Harry yet. That's okay! I can't expect him to change overnight just like he can't expect that from me. We have both through a lot these past few weeks, and it's not been easy. Getting through something this traumatic takes a lot of time and patience.

I don't think I have ever been so thankful to feel his touch. It's scary whenever you start to feel completely lonely whenever you're laying beside someone. Every night I would fall asleep praying he would roll over in his sleep and hold me, but he never would. He's too stubborn even when he's sound asleep.

Harry acknowledged I was in a fragile state, which is great, but you can touch fragile things. Whenever something is fragile, you don't avoid touching it, you handle it with extra care. Whenever you are holding something fragile, you hold it like your life depends on it. That's what I wanted. I wanted him to hold me like his entire life depending on it, but he wouldn't break. I think Harry likes to paint me as the fragile one, but deep down he is.

He would never show it, but he is on the verge of breaking down. Harry has a really bad habit of storing everything inside until he snaps. I can't get mad at him because I'm the exact same way. I had to learn the hard way that holding everything in isn't the right thing to do. It's a scary thing to let down the walls you worked so hard on building, but sometimes it's the right thing to do.

Harry was standing in front of the stove, cooking us pancakes for lunch. I admired him while he stood in his apron and pjs. No one would ever be able to compare to him if they tried, he is too beautiful.

"Hey loverboy," I stated as I walked into the kitchen, "how are you feeling today?" I walked up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"I'm feeling a lot better now that you're awake, I missed you." I blushed while the words fell from his lips, "How are you feeling, sweet girl?"

"I think today's gonna be a good day." I admitted to him honestly. Today was the first day in so long I woke up and felt like I had a purpose. I felt okay.

Harry peeked over his shoulder with a smile on his lips, "Why is today going to be a good day?"

"I can just feel it. I knew as soon as I walked into the kitchen and saw this man, whom may I add is the closest thing to perfection, making me brunch." Harry chuckled softly while he shook his head.

"I'm not perfect." He argued while his cheeks were painted with a pale shade of pink.

"I said the closest thing to." I argued back. He started to say something else, but I cut him off with a kiss, "Just trust me on this one, loverboy."

We talked the entire time we ate, there was not a moment of silence. I'm not sure how either of us finished our food because we were constantly talking, but I can't complain. Harry and I haven't been this good in a while. I felt like I was falling in love all over again.