NA YUTA 。feelings

▎fifteen

"You look great!" My mom sat at the edge of my bed, looking at me through the large mirror. Four other women was behind my mom, observing us quietly as they assisted my mom's favours. It's finally the day of Yuta's older sister's birthday.

The other night, I was able to go home before she suspected anything. I had to walk like a spy on my way to the bedroom because my mom thought I was already asleep.

I was scared to death thinking about getting caught in the middle of the night because I went to a typical party. I'm never the type to do that.

"Really?" I breathed in, straightening my dress. The fabric was kind of making me feel uncomfortable but other than that, its beautiful. The thin midnight color covered mostly the white cloth underneath and it doesn't have sleeves so I bet I'll get a cold.

I haven't been feeling well lately and I'm also not in the mood to face Yuta after what happened that night. His words still hurts me but I can't blame him. He was drunk and its not like what he said wasn't true.

"Mom, can I ask a question?"

She looked up from her phone, probably snapping a picture of me. She's been active in social media and I sometimes wonder if she uses those dating apps. I'm not against it, in fact I think it might help her in some ways.

"Yes,sure"

"Uhh-Am I a bad friend?" here I go again. Being so freaking dramatic.

"No, why would you think that?" Mom walked closer to me, her heels resonating in the large room.

"Its just...." Am I too focus on myself?

"Huh?"

I shook my thoughts away "Nothing. Let's go?"

Mom looked at me with her curious gaze and I shrugged.

We both proceeded to the limousine and made ourselves comfortable on the way to the party.

•••••

Okay, I know my present isn't so unique. But I barely dance at someone's birthday, I never felt the need to do it before. But here I am, wearing my ballet clothes in the backstage while everyone was chatting and eating.

Its been 30 minutes since me and mom got here. Once I was done being mesmerized by the place, my mom was already socializing with other business partners and was probably discussing about the sudden event of divorce.

I asked the organizer and Yuta's mom to insert me in the schedule and she gladly accepted my request, wishing me luck for my performance. Other than the both of them, no one knows my gift for the birthday celebrant.

"And for the next performance. We have Park Eunsol!!" the emcee spoke and I caught glimpse of Doyoung's shocked face as I entered the well-designed stage wearing a ballet skirt that matches my dress earlier.

The music started and I slowly danced through the rhythm of Romeo and Juliet. Their tragic story didn't fit right into this occasion but it fits right into my thoughts right now. I know I'm being selfish for performing this today. But I wanted to let my feelings out.

The ballet known for its dramatic emotions and tragic tale. Which represents my whole life right now.

The story of two strangers who longs for everlasting love yet both families disapprove of their relationship. Forbidden Love, if I must dispute. They try to make their own plans as they venture to it together but everything begins to fall apart...

My life has got nothing to do with forbidden love. Because there wasn't love in the first place. But it reflects all the tragedy and sorrows I'm passing through. Deep inside, I hope I won't end up dead and lifeless like they are.

I poured all my emotions on this dance. Dancing like it was my last, dancing like no one was watching.

And when I was done, all I heard were the applause of the crowd as they praised my performance.

I smiled at them, bowing repeatedly as more voices interlaced.

And it was in that exact moment that I knew, I was ready for the competition.

~

"Well done Eunsol" Winwin hugged me when I was back at our table and changing my dress again.

"noona,what was the story about? It felt like it was sad" Mark asked and I sat beside him, eating the food that I couldn't eat earlier.

"Yes, it was sad." I sighed, looking at nothing in particular until Haechan joined.

"So? Why dance it in this happy event?" He raised his eyebrows and I shrugged.

"It helps me"

thankfully, Yuta was busy with entertaining guests to even walk to our table because I don't need him and his attitude right now. I noticed Doyoung across the place, holding Han Byul and talking to another person. That sight made me sad all of a sudden.

"I get it now!" A high squeal said and I turned my head to Jungwoo who was holding an origami alongside Johnny. All of the boys were wearing a tuxedo and it made them more matured.

"come on Jungwoo. That was so easy" he said, sitting in the chair on our table.

"Wait! So I don't need a scissors right?" Winwin sneaked in, staring at the crane.

"Dude, that's why its called an origami" Taeil deadpanned

"Where did you find paper anyway?" Taeyong asked, letting us know of his presence.

We both made eye contact but he suddenly looked away.

I cleared my throat "can you teach me that too?"

I was about to walk to Johnny but Taeyong cuts me off, blocking my way.

I was taken aback at how tall he was and I looked at him

He sighed, his husky voice mumbling "We need to talk"

I never expected him to ever say that phrase to me. And surprisingly, his voice was kind of soft.

"O-okay"

Thanks for reading🍁