NA YUTA 。feelings

▎ thirty-three

My shoulders were slumped and my  eyes cast down in a mournful gaze.
"Ms. Bora, what do you mean?"

She cleared her throat and placed her palms on the desk, as if she was praying.

"I've been observing you and it looks like you're not ready for the contest." Ms. Bora repeated.

I restrained myself from crying. "But I've been training for-"

"Exactly. A person like you who's been in this world for a while now has to handle stress well. You should be able to handle your problems and never let it ruin your grace. Ballet is art."

I tugged at my earlobe. "But I've been preventing anything from ruining my performace. Just give me another chance and I'll-"

Ms. Bora remained cold. "I was too dependent on the fact that you can do it."

My lips trembled as I replied. "I promise to do my best. I won't even sleep or eat. Just give me one more chance. I'll stay in the studio and sleep here if staying home just gives me distraction. I'll even stop going to school for awhile. I'm sure I can just catch up. Please Ms. Bora. You can't just replace me like this. I've been looking forward for this my entire life."

I couldn't control my emotions anymore and I cried right in front of her.

Ms. Bora sighed and closed her eyes. She fluttered her eyes open and bit her lips. "Enough of this."

Ms. Bora moved away from her chair and opened the door of her office.

"I found someone who can fill the spot for you."

A figure appeared and sat across me.

Yena proudly occupied the seat and smirked right in front of me.

She crossed her arms and legs. "Ms. Bora, when should we start?"

I wiped my tears away and looked at the coach.

I caught Ms. Bora glaring at Yena before replacing it with an expression that no one could read.

"The contest is in two months Eunsol. I hope you understand that I'm only depending on how you perform in each training session. Yena has been doing well and I can tell she's ready for the contest."

"Although this has been a forced announcement..."

Yena glared at Ms. Bora and the coach gladly replied with another glare.

I was dumbfounded from their contact and just continued to sob at my seat.

"Eunsol, this might not be the path for you. But, I know you'll be successful one way or another. Just do your best all the time."

Ms. Bora patted my shoulder.

Yena scoffed, "You're not even that good." She mumbled. 

"I-I understand Ms. Bora." I played with the hem of my shirt and gulped.

I finally looked up and saw Yena staring at me.

I showed her a smile before extending my arms for a handshake. "Good luck."

She stared at my hand and rolled her eyes. "Pfft, I don't need that."

Yena pushed my hand away. I forced a  smiled. "I hope you win the contest Yena." I said.

Ms. Bora watched us from her seat. "We will start the practice tomorrow. 8pm sharp."

Yena grinned. "Yes Ms. Bora."

I glanced at them one last time before standing up. My action caused the two to look at me and I excused myself.

I made my way to the exit and hesitantly clutched the doorknob.

"Are you going out or what?" Yena annoyingly said.

I sighed and faced her. "Yes. I am."

Yena rolled her eyes. "Then go. The door is in front of you. We have a lot to talk about for the competition."

I opened the door and stepped outside.

"I'm sorry." Ms. Bora softly said.

I closed the only barrier that prevents me from hearing their conversation.  I leaned my forehead against the door and closed my eyes.

I swallowed the urge to cry and straightened my shirt.

"I'm sorry." I replied.

Sorry for letting Ms. Bora down, sorry for disappointing all my loved ones who probably thought I'd win.

One tear traced down my cheek, and just like that, the waterworks opened.
I attempted to wipe the tears streaming from my deep puffy eyes. 

"Eunsol. Why are you crying?" Seon Mi was the first person to comfort me once I went to the practice room.

Loud, heaving sobs teared from my throat. "I came to get my things. I'll be back——"

Yena abruptly interrupted my sentence.

"No, you're not coming back. You have no future in this place Eunsol. Why bother staying?"

Seon Mi scoffed and stomped towards her.

"Repeat that again and I'll fucking slap the shit out of you." Seon Mi said, harshly poking Yena's shoulder.

Yena ignored the fuming Seon Mi and slapped her finger away.

"I suggest you leave and try other prep schools. I'm just concerned Eunsol." Yena pouted arrogantly.

I turned from Yena and walked towards my locker.

Seon Mi batted her an eyelash. "dumb worm." She mumbled before following me from behind.

"What did that girl do again?" Seon Mi leaned against the locker next to mine and crossed her arms.

"She didn't do anything."

I grabbed my clothes and a face towel to wipe my face. "I was the one who messed up."

Seon Mi raised an eyebrow. "You were crying. You plus tears plus that girl is equal to all bad news in the whole world."

I sighed and looked at her. "Well, at least I leave knowing someone is going to the competition. Besides, Yena is a good dancer."

"You're leaving?!" She roared.

I nodded my head.

"Are you going to listen to that worm?"

I crossed my arms tightly and gave Seon Mi a look. "She has a point."

Han Yena is right. If I leave, I get to try a new school and possibly prepare for the competition there too. After all, the competition isn't just limited to this academy. I still have a chance.

And I'll do better.

Seon Mi snapped her finger and tilted her head. "I know this is a big deal for you and Yena getting the position must've shattered your world.
But come on, leave the academy?"

Seon Mi frowned, "Why can't you just hurt a worm for once. Why do you have to be so friendly? Try hitting that girl and see how satisfying it is."

I chuckled at her reaction. "I thought about it very hard."

She scoffed. "You just got the news like 30 minutes ago. Be decisive and think about it for 3 days or possibly a week."

I shook my head. "This is for the better. I'll visit you from time to time and we still study on the same school. We literally see each other everyday."

Seon Mi faked a smile.

I opened the door and was already outside of the building.

"Visit me okay?" she said.

"Of course." I replied.

Turning my back and crossing the street. A single tear slid down from my eyes and I wiped it with my sleeves.



At the end, if someone has to choose between Ms. Bora's job and Eunsol.

The coach chose to save herself.

Thanks for reading🍁