insecurities

Touch.

Ian's POV

So today...Monday wasn't a favourite day of mine but I got up,got dressed and went to school. It was pretty windy but when I got to school it started raining...I loved rain so I didn't really mind.

I saw Bonnie looking at the school's playground through the huge glass window near reception.

"Bonbon."I said as I stood next to her.

She looked at me almost as though she was confused then finally spoke,"Ian,You do notice that it's raining,right?"

I nodded as I didn't get what she was going on about.

"Your hair is gonna get wet and you'll catch the flu. And I won't tutor you while you're sick because I don't like being sick." She paused for a second then slid her backpack to her thighs and took out a grey hat in it.

It had ears that were pink on the inside and some sort of cat whiskers sown on it or something.

"Here." She said as she held it out for me to take it.

When I took it and my finger lightly touched her hand then she let go.

"It has ears." I complained and took a closer look then I laughed before adding,"Oh my God...are those whiskers??"

"Uh-huh."she nodded.

Okay... I couldn't just rock up with cat ears above my head. So I turned it inside out then wore it.

"The label's on the outside." She said as she zipped up her bag and put it on her back.

I honestly I didn't really care."It's Okay trust me."

We started to walk towards our class.

"It's cute you care." I said as I looked down to her face.

She simply scoffed,"You wish. I just want you alive so your mom would keep paying me for tutoring sessions."

"Tell that to someone who actually believes that. You aren't a good liar. You might deny it but I'm the best source of after school company you have." I say pretty cocky.

"Hey,Ian!" Dominic's voice called from across the room. He waved for me to go join them.

I looked to Bonnie who seemed cool with me going and she nodded.

I went over to them talking all things basketball and how our after party on homecoming day is gonna be lit. And graduation will be off the charts!!!... After a couple of minutes Maya comes by and wraps her arms around my torso. I thank heaven's for making me this tall because I'm sure if she could get to my face...she'd be shoving her tongue down my throat.

I simply place my hand at the small of her back just to show that I notice her presence.

After a couple of seconds Zach comes from the same direction from which Maya also came. I wasn't surprised because I've known that they are screwing for a long time now and I don't care.

"Babe,what's with the hat?" Maya asks as she puts her hands on my shoulders and stares into my eyes.

"It's mine." I'm not quite sure what she wanted me to say.

She pursed her lips for a second then spoke,"Aren't you gonna kiss me? I mean you haven't seen me since yesterday."

"Of course." I said as I planted a kiss on her forehead then joined the guy's conversation again.

We got back our chemistry assignment project papers and me and Bonnie got a B+... Honestly that was my fault because she always gets an A+ but she looked back at me and gave me a smile.

Most of the girls in this class never want anything less than what they want and probably would've lost their shit if they were Bonnie right now.

She's just so polite and nice I just sometimes want to stay with her longer than I normally do. Honestly being me isn't easy... I hardly have anyone to talk to about shit that bothers me. And I just wish she could tell me about the shit that bothers her because clearly she has issues that bother her.

I know people think I'm all good but I might as well be empty because I'm not as happy as people think i am. I have a girlfriend I don't love... let alone like. A whole team of so called friends I don't even care about. And then there's my mom whom I'd rather never talk about.

"Good work,Ian." Mr Brooks said as he patted my shoulder."I hope you didn't leave everything for Bonnie to do."

I simply smiled at him then he walked back to the front of the class.

I literally spent all day thinking about Bonnie Hart... I think I really like her

After school

"Aren't you heading out to practice today?" Zach asked as he rushed behind me.

I shook my head no. "I'm feeling kinda blue... I'll make up for today on Sunday." I head out.

When I got to my driveway...Bonnie had also just arrived. She got out of the car and we walked inside catching some raindrops on my face then wiped them off with my blazer.

"You didn't take off the hat?...I'm guessing you like it?" She asked as she took a seat.

I simply smiled and nodded.

She took out her textbooks and waited for me to sit. Today I didn't sit across her I sat on the same couch as her. She froze for a second then took off her hat probably because the house was pretty warm... I meant it when I said Marianne is an angel. She always keeps the room in a preferable temperature.

A smile lit up my face after I saw that she wore the scrunchie I had given her. When she saw my reaction she just smiled then rolled her eyes. Her dimples looked so cute from her side view.

"You're starring." She said as she turned to me. And our eyes locked for a few seconds before she broke eye contact and started flipping through her textbook aimlessly.

I slowly motioned my hand to hers. Right now I just really needed her to trust me because I really like her and hoping I don't scare her off like Zach did. I gently held her hand in mine for a second before she got up and went over to the kitchen.

I followed shortly behind her and found her standing against the kitchen counter with her back facing me.

"Ian,please..."she said with a long exhalation.

"Can you at least talk to me about..."

She cut me off. "I don't want to talk about it."

I slowly walked up to where she stood. She had her hands on the edge of the counter... I put mine over hers and lightly pasted my torso on her back. She took a sharp breath before she started hyperventilating. We stood like that for approximately 47 seconds before Marianne entered and Bonnie gave me the 'I Have To Go' line.