insecurities

Kris

Bonnie's POV

My God!!!...my brain has been all over the place lately. Ian has tried calling me almost everyday and I on the other hand don't want to talk to him...

○Phone rings○

Exactly what I'm talking about.

"Ian?" I finally decided to pick it up.

He sighed,"You picked up?"

"You called."

He remained silent for a second then said in a low,almost begging tone." Can we talk?"

"I don't want to talk about...anything you want to talk about."

"Well then...what do you want to talk about?"

"In 4 months... we're writing our final exams. Do you want me to continue with our sessions considering you're doing better?" I asked as I took a seat on my bed.

"Wait..."his voice sounded really worried "...are you quitting on me?"

"No. I just...nothing. I was wondering because..."

He laughed a bit.

"Are you laughing at me?" I asked as I involuntarily blushed.

"No... have I ever told you how much i like your shyness?"

"I think you should hang up now." I said as I just knew where this conversation was going.

He sighed,"But we do have to talk."

"No,we don't."

"Why?"

"Because you have Maya and I think our kiss was a mistake..."

"Didn't feel like one." He said with his voice deepened." Look..."

I cut him off not wanting to hear what he was going to say,"Shh...I don't want to hear it. You should really hang up."

"I really like you,Bonbon..."

I  hung up my phone.

On Wednesday... I had a really hard time finding Amy and Ming. I saw Ming's car but not them. Amy's car had broke down a week ago so she's been taking a ride with Ming.

"Excuse me..." A voice disturbed my quest to find my friends.

"Oh...hi." I said as I was startled and turned around to see a tall, blue eyed,brown haired guy carrying the school's layout.

He chuckled a bit as he put out his hand for me to shake it." I'm Kris."

"Mind if I turn down the handshake?"

He quickly put his hand in his pocket,"Not at all...its fine."

"I'm Bonnie...by the way."

"I'm told we're headed to the same class."

"You're new at this time of the year?" I accidentally laughed at his situation and I quickly covered my mouth with my hands.

"It's okay..."He said as he also took a good laugh at it." Last minute move with my parents."

"I also transferred here this year. It's not so bad."

We got to class and I showed him an unused desk to my far right where the single ladies could get the perfect view because he's really good looking.  And he can possibly get creeped out by Ian's stare as he entered the class. He dropped his bag on his desk and walked over to me and Kris.

"I'm Ian...you are?" Ian said with the biggest attitude.

"Kris..."

"Mhh" Ian answered and then pulled his eyes away from Kris to mine." Can we talk?"

"I told you I don't want to talk." I whispered.

He tightened his jaw as he kept his eyes fixated on mine then he finally said,"Fine... I'll go and leave you two to talk." He sniffed looking pretty pissed. He came very close to my face and whispered,"You know you can't avoid me. I always make a way." He then left.

I just sat there still trying to collect myself. Ian is really starting to get under my skin and I hate it.

"Are you okay?" Kris asked as he moved closer to me.

I nodded and scooted further from him. Is it me or is Ian actually jealous??

Kris was so terrified of mingling that he hung around Ming and Amy and me. He's really cool though. Lunch break and Ian had a basketball practice so I didn't see much of him after this morning's encounter.

I went to his house after a week of trying to ignore him and we studied without him trying to shut me up with his talks.

When the time came I started packing up my bag and getting ready to leave.

"So...Kris..." he said as he leaned back and I knew this conversation wasn't gonna be pretty.

"What about him?"

"Where's he from?"

"I didn't really ask. But he's a nice guy." I said as i looked at him.

"Just nice?"

I dropped my back definitely expecting a long list of questions coming from him." Where's this going?"

"What do you mean?" He asked as he closed his textbook.

"And what do you mean by 'Just nice'?"

"I'm playing in the final basketball game in 3 weeks... coming?" He definitely just ditched my question.

"I asked you a question." I said.

He cleared his throat then spoke,"I also asked you a question."

"Answer me,Ian."

"I won't answer..."

I cut him off with yet another question,"Why not?"

"Because I won't." He said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Ian,You can't just leave me hanging here."

"And you can't just walk out on me after we kissed then ignore me for a week and hang out with another guy...pretending I don't exist." He leaned forward then put his forearms on his knees and stared into my eyes.

"Ian..."

"No,Bonnie. You know...i like you. I LIKE YOU. And I'm pretty sure you do to but you not letting me in."

Now this conversation just went from a simple question to my heart skipping a beat.

After he said that my body just shivered letting out a shakey breath.

"Ian,shut up..." I said not wanting to hear anything else.

"No...let me speak. Because obviously you are going to ignore me right after this conversation and probably hang out with Kris the whole time."

"You don't get to be jealous,Ian... you have a girlfriend." I grabbed my bag and got up.

He jumped off the couch and stood right in front of me. "You're leaving?"

"Yes." I said as I started to walk away... I then felt his arm go around my waist and he pulled me back to him.

My back pasted on his chest as I could feel his chest moving up and down as he took slow breaths. His arm was still around my waist and I'd literally be surprised if he couldn't hear my heart banging against my chest.

"Bonnie..." he said as his other hand slowly found it's resting spot on my hip causing me to inhale quite sharply.

Marianne opened the door...just in time. She really is an angel. I slipped out of Ian's hold then I made my way home.

I'm literally falling really hard for Ian and it's something I never felt before. And honestly...its quite SCARY.