Growing

Growing Part 11

Anna's POV:

       FUCK! What was I doing here?? I sat down again and curled into the fetal position. For some reason I thought of Ag's hands. They held mine when I was feeling nervous or happy. When I was sad or when I was hyper. They were there for me in all walks of life. They were my comfort, my pleasure. They made me feel safe but also so fiery. They were good hands. Ag was a good person.

       She so much more than good. I couldn't even begin to express what she was. I love her. God I love that girl so much. I never told her. I was probably dead and I couldn't put my doubts aside and just say three simple words. I also couldn't say that I was dating a girl to anyone. How trivial it all seems now. My mom still loved me and my dad would still love me too. My friends wouldn't care. I was the one that couldn't accept it. I had the problem with myself.

       I hated myself because I thought that I was different. But now I'm realizing that I'm no different than anyone else. I just want to give love and be loved in return. That's all that anyone wants right? Love. And I found it, but I might lose it quicker than it came...
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Ag's POV:

       I laid there and presumably slept. I say presumably because when I woke I felt more drained than when I closed my eyes. Maybe I stayed awake with my eyes closed, I don't know. It had been another few hours... wait maybe minutes. No hours. I looked at my phone screen and did the math. I could also see the sun peeking through the window shades across the lobby. "She should be out of surgery soon." I heard the nurse say.

"Will I be able to see her?" Pure gravel and emotion thick in my words.

"If you're not immediate family you'll have to wait until 9 am when visiting hours open."

"Are you fucking serious? I have to wait 3 more hours until I can see her??"

"Miss please keep your voice down and don't use that language, we have other guests here."

"Don't you dare tell me how to act! My everything is behind those doors and it's my fault. It's my fault don't you fucking dare please please..." the guttural noises coming out of the deepest parts of me turned my words into pleading sobs.

       Anna's mom came to me and held me until I was able to support the heaviness that came along with the fear of loss.
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Anna's POV:

       As soon as I made peace with myself, I began to feel light. Like I was floating, it was truly amazing. I started to hear different sounds. Beeping of monitors, shuffling of walking and the low hum of the air conditioner. I couldn't open my eyes or will my limbs and extremities to move. I still didn't know if I was alive or dead yet. I didn't want to die, I wanted more than anything to live. I had unfinished business. I had truths to scream off the rooftops and my love to give to the one who I fully surrendered myself too. I was going to survive or so help me God.
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Ag's POV:

       Anna's mom asked if I was ok to stay behind while they took her back to see Anna. I said it was fine and that Anna needed her mom right now. I slept until I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Anna! I blinked. No it wasn't, just her mom.

"You can go in now. I'll take you to her," I got up quickly "I just have to warn you, she looks... it's not good." I nervously acknowledge her. We got to the door of Anna's room and I took a deep breath. What I saw was the worst thing I've seen ever, by far.

       Anna, if you could call her that because you could barely tell there was human under there, with the mess of the wires, tubing and bandages that were on her, was laying at an angle with her eyes closed. Her face had awful bruising and yet somehow, unexplainable to me, she was so beautiful. I arrived at the side of her bed and took in her small figure. I sat in the chair nearest to her head on her right side, the side that didn't have the broken leg.

       I didn't want to touch her, fearing that I would break her more than I already had. So I just stayed sitting with my arms on the armrests. I desperately wanted her to wake up and tell me that everything was going to be ok and that we could be together. I wanted her to know that I would go to the ends of the earth to hear her endearing Michigan accent. I spoke to her "Anna? I'm here and I'm never leaving again. I just need you to open your eyes for me. Okay? I need you to smile." Nothing of course.

"I want you to say how goofy I am or, or how you love my smile. Please bub just wake up and let me know you're here with me."

       The empty ringing mocked me.
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Anna's POV:

       I could hear distant whispers. Almost like those things that were on playgrounds, where there would be one kid at one side of the jungle gym and then another kid at the opposite side and they spoke through those tubes. They were never too loud and sometimes you couldn't make out what the other person was saying. That's how this felt. If I focused hard enough maybe I could hear what was being said.

       It was Ag, she was here. I had felt the doctors and nurses fumbling with my wires earlier maybe I could feel if she touched me. But something caught my ear.

"Anna, I will be quiet. I won't pressure you to tell anyone about us. I'll, uh, just enjoy what we had. I won't ask for anything else, just please please please wake up for me."

       It broke my heart to hear her like this. She sounded so broken. So tired. Little did she know that I don't care what people knew anymore. In fact I wanted everyone to know about me and her. She just needed to touch me.

       I began to say hoping that somehow she would hear me, "Ag?! I'm here, I can hear you. Please just touch me. You just need to touch me and we'll be fine. Ag please. C'mon. Touch me, touch my arm or something. Please!"
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Ag's POV:

       I suddenly felt the strongest urge to touch her. I grabbed her hand with both of mine and brought it to my lips. I could see small scratches all over including her hands. The tube protruding from her throat was jarring to look at. Anna's mom had left to get us coffee. Using one hand to hold hers, I used the other to sweep the hair off of her forehead. And gently planted a kiss there.

       The heart monitor started to beep faster and I felt the slightest movement of Anna's fingers. I jumped up and yelled for a nurse just as I saw a flutter beneath her eyelids. A couple of nurses rushed in and checked her monitors and looked into her eyes with a light.

"That's unbelievable." One said.

"Page Dr. Monroe, now," Said another.

"What's going on?" I asked forcefully and blinked rapidly.

"She's staring to wake up."
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From the Author:

Are we happy now?😉