Growing

Growing Part 34

⚠️WARNING POSSIBLY TRIGGERING CONTENT⚠️

Anna's POV:

       I really hope I did well on that midterm. I didn't feel great about it since I had a lot going on the past couple days so I haven't had a lot of time to study. First thing I did once I sat down at the bus station was to turn my phone on from it being completely off. It was flooded with messages from Mia. Fuck. I called her right away before reading the messages. She ended up telling me she hadn't gotten ahold of Ag since 8:30ish and it was 10 now. I have to wait probably 10 more minutes before the bus gets here and then another 15 until I get home. I want to try to call Ag and see if maybe she's at work. It doesn't look like she is though.

       The phone rang for 4 rings each one drilling into my skull further and further, until Ag actually picked up.

"Hello?! Ag?"

"I'm so sorry." Her words were slurred.

"Bub, I know you're sick. I know." I was crying hearing her so broken. She's in so much pain and I don't know how to ease it.

"I don't want to be like this anymoreee. I'm gonna get help I promise I will. For you."

"I'll be there with you love, I promise. I'm going to be home soon, okay? I want you to stay on the phone with me until I get there. Ag?" She stopped talking and I could hear her crying. "Ag?! I'm right here, I'll be there soon!"

       The connection cut. I need to get to her. Just then, I saw the bus rounding the corner heading for me and I stood. This was going to the longest 15 minutes of my life.
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Ag's POV:

       Maddie left a while ago, I didn't want her to stay. I actually wanted nothing to do with her other than the bottle of Smirnoff she got for me. I knew what I was doing was destructive, but I didn't care. It wasn't fully my fault either. Maddie helped me and Anna... I couldn't blame her. She didn't do anything wrong. She loved me and I treated her like shit. What the fuck was wrong with me?

       I took another long drag from the bottle, it was nearly 2/3rds gone. That can't be good, but do I care? Nope, not even a little bit. We only live for a short time and we have to have fun right? All of a sudden my phone starting going off again. Damn it I thought Mia shut up already the ringing was hurting my ears. I half crawled half stumbled to the counter where my phone was laying and saw who it was. My favorite picture of Anna was plastered on the screen and her contact name, Boonie❤️ stared back at me. The picture was so beautiful just like her. She was laying in her bed at her mom's house, looking directly into the lens. I had actually caught her off guard when I took it. She had the brightest smile and her brilliant blue eyes gleamed. She was in a black sweatshirt and shorts, but she wouldn't have looked any prettier had she been in a gown. She was just gorgeous no matter what the circumstances. I clicked the answer button before realizing that I was crying. I was swaying heavily as I heard Anna's voice.

"Hello?! Ag?" Anna said.

"I'm so sorry." My words came out slowly. 

"Bub, I know you're sick. I know." Anna was crying and I was my fault.

"I don't want to be like this anymoreee. I'm gonna get help I promise I will. For you."

"I'll be right there with you my love. I'm going to be home..."

       Her words were fading out as I slumped to the floor with the bottle in my lap and my head in my hands. I can't stop, I don't know how. I can't do this. I'll just live my life engulfed by liquor. It has its talons firmly seated in my jugular, mere millimeters away from ending my life. Everything I have worked for and accomplished is crumbling and I'm going to lose what I love most all for what? A drink? It was my new normal, I guess.
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Anna's POV:

       I rushed inside to find Ag crumpled on the floor and a bottle next to her. The bottle was almost empty. Oh my god that's not healthy for anyone let alone a 17 year old.

"Ag?! Ag, can you hear me?" I cradled her head in my hands and could feel a slight heat on her skin. She opened her eyes and they rolled back.

"Uhhh" Ag groaned.

"Can you hear me? I love you, I love you so much."

"Sick..." I could barely understand what she said.

"You're going to be sick?"

"Mhm"

"Shit, okay. Um come on."

       She was in no condition to walk to the bathroom so I stood up and locked my arms under hers and tried to drag completely dead weight to the bathroom. Her head snapped back and she groaned again. Eventually we made it into the bathroom and I tried to prop her head over the toilet bowl. I had to hold her head up and then I gathered her hair and fastened it with a hair tie. She began throwing up as I held her. After about an hour of on again off again puking Ag finally formed a sentence, albeit she was still slurring her words heavily.

"I'm sorry, Anna. I'm going to stop."

"I want to believe you but it's hard to."

"I know, I'm a fuck up."

       I kissed her forehead, "Love, no you're not you're broken."

       Ag nodded and sat up, leaning against the wall. She reached her hands out for me, they shook as they extended. I took them into my own and kissed them. She slowly laid back down with her head in my lap then put her arms around my torso. I could feel her whole body trembling.

"I need to get better."

"Yes you do, I want to help you."

"You can't."

"What do you mean?"

"I have to do it by myself, I need to cut the cord."

"Bub, I'm not going anywhere. It's okay to have help."

"Anna, no. You can't be here to fix me."

       She sat up and looked at me with tears in her eyes. She took a deep breath and said, "We can't be together." Pain. All I felt was pain.

"No, we can, we can love. I want to be with you! More than anything I want you to be healthy and us to be together!" My voice was pleading with her but she shook her head.

"We're done."

"No! We can't be! Look me in my damn eyes Ag and tell me you don't love me! Huh? Tell me that and I'll leave!" I thought she wouldn't be able to do and this whole breaking up business could be done but what she did next broke me like I've never been broken.

       She looked me dead in the eyes, with tears streaming down her face, and slowly said the words "I don't love you anymore, Anna."
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Ag's POV:

       Never in a million years did I think I would utter those words. Of course, I didn't mean them. I loved Anna more than myself, but that's the problem I guess. I needed to make her think I didn't love her because that's the only way I could get her to leave me. She needed someone better than me, she deserves the world and I couldn't give it to her. Someone better than me could. I was a worthless drunk, that didn't even love themselves. I broke her heart because it was better for her to live in a world where I couldn't hurt her anymore.
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From the Author:

Hey guys. This was painful, but needed. Let me know what you think of this chapter. Thank you for reading.