Make Myself A Legacy (Another Stray Kids Member)

Hate

"I'm fine, Jisung. Go home and enjoy your day off tomorrow, okay?"

Leon and Han were the ones left in the studio, as Han had a song he needed to record immediately. To his luck, he had found the older member at the studio. The older had left him off to his own devices. But helped when the younger asked him to. Now, the others were doing their own things and Han was about to do the same.  Things that were not related to the work aspect of their lives. Midnights with food with Minho, probably Changbin, and anyone who would pass by the kitchen.

The younger boy also knew that Leon mostly worked during free days and stayed later. So leaving the older boy behind was a usual thing. But he couldn't feel that there was something off with his hyung. He seemed off but Han couldn't explain how. No outwards signs, the catch though is Leon never really displayed his distaste, uncomfortably, and any negative feeling outwards. So it was just a gut feeling of his. So he decided to let it go. But he knew that he'd keep it at the back of his mind.

"Okay Hyung, I'll leave some snacks out for when you come home." With that the younger boy left, leaving a candy bar at the table for Leon. He hoped that he would find it gone the next visit to the studio, but it was always there the next time.

When the younger boy left, Leon gave it about two minutes before looking through his phone again. He had seen all the tweets that were directed towards him. Most of the time, the comment section only had his name twice. But this past weekend he was getting too many call-outs. If only it were positive. But most were of disappointment, anger, and hate.

You don't deserve the boys.

Better off as a soloist.

Try hard.

Lose weight, bro.

He's such a negative force around the boys.

Pretty boy period, only that.

He's a cheat.

Get out of the group.

Leave and finally make people happy.

They just adopted you into the group out of pity, the same for your family.

Those were only some of the comments. No, he did not hate the haters for giving criticism. He didn't agree with all of them but some to a certain extent. It didn't make him hate himself, but he saw what the haters did. He was lacking. He always was.

This was the reason he was just a lead dancer, lead rapper, and vocalist. His visuals weren't too bad. But if he didn't keep the weight off then he'd be useless to this group.

This is his habit and truth:

He loved himself conditionally. Only if he was doing good enough. No room for mistakes. After all, he had studied at a great school and was regarded highly yet here he was. Not enough.

His mind had been racking about that topic ever since the tweets were rising. He started having these lyrics spilling from inside of him and he had to write them. For it was breaking him into pieces. He had finished these a few days ago and was planning to dance away to it. Hence, him taking the night. He didn't want his members to know that something was off. So he acted as normally as he could. Being busy, being aware, and being...too him. Something he had to change since it was annoying people.

One glance at the mirror and knew it would be far long until he gave himself kindness. He knew he would be unforgiving to himself tonight. After locking the door, he began. The music, the only thing he could hear. Himself the only thing he could see.