Part 41 - Reality Check

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Part 41

MAYA'S ROOM
THIRD PERSON POV

" Are you even serious right now Gracy..?? Why will you even think that I'll fall in love with Nicholas..!?

Wait there only Gracy... If you're thinking that just because lately we've both been acting like crazy in each other's presence, that I'm falling for him, then let me tell you that you're very wrong.

You very well know that I did all of that just to irritate and trouble him for the misguiding me about what happened the night I got drunk.

I do accept that yesss, Nicholas's presence do affect me and my body.. I mean that man is hot, who will not be affected by his presence but that doesn't mean anything more. Being physically attracted to each other and being in love with each other is two completely different things..

Just because of the last few days we've grown comfortable to each other's presence, no... In fact we've just learnt to accept each other in our daily lives, but that still doesn't mean much..!! It doesn't change the fact that we're just partners who have made a deal. To keep our family business together in the eyes of our parents but personally the only reason why we're still together is our brothers. In this 2 and half of our marriage, the only persons who have grown closer to us are our brothers.

Yesss, I accept that with time I've grown to like his presence but not love him. There's a very big difference between liking someone and loving someone. Many people think that it's the same but it's definitely not. Liking is temporary, for a while only... But loving someone... Being in love with someone... That is for the long run.. A promise forever.

And clearly Nicholas and I don't share a 'forever type' of bonding. Like he says we're just stuck and compelled to be with each other. The base of our marriage is itself very weak. Even though at the start, I was ready to accept him and give this wedding a chance no matter how we ended up together, but Nicholas never ever thought like that once.

Yes, I want to fall in love. Make that person the center of my world, be the same for him, make him part of my priorities, be part of his priorities, be happy with him.. Be safe with him.. Have kids.. Live with him, experience love, care, concern, comfort and bliss with him. And from time to time agree and fight with him as well. I still want that person. But Nicholas... He just isn't the one..
He may be part of my world, but me....
I don't even exist in his...

And the day I learnt about Nilda, even I kind of stopped trying as I literally had no reason to hold him back with me forcefully.

Each time Nilda comes in front of me, all I can think of is what kind of intimate relationship she has with the man I am married to. And that disgusts me. She is the woman whom Nicholas Valentino sleeps with, kisses, roams along publicly, and that is something that I just can't let go of. No matter how much complicated Nicholas and my relationship is, I don't like seeing him like with Nilda or any other woman whilst he's married to me. At that point Nicholas' behavior makes me feel as if I am some useless piece of furniture just kept here for decoration purpose that will be disposed once it's no longer needed.

Moreover to fall in love, a relationship needs to have respect, care, concern, co-operation and most importantly trust..!! I may have some of these for Nicholas but I really don't feel that Nicholas has any of these for me.
And trust..!!
You out of all know very well how much Nicholas trusts me..!!
He will literally trust and believe anything that he hears about me from others but he will never try to clarify that with me even once.

Frankly speaking Gracy I'm not even sure that I will be here as his wife by the end of this year.
And you want me to fall for such a man..??
Well no Gracy.. I may be an emotional fool but I am not stupid. I'm not stupid enough to fall in love with a man like Nicholas who stepped over his limits many times.

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