Part 22

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"I know."

That night we fell asleep on our phones. We talked into the late night hours about everything, but really, nothing. We talked about each other's 'dark' pasts and what we wanted for our future. Before long, Avi started to mumble.

"Avi?"

"Mmmm..."

"Are you asleep?"

"Mitch," he slurred. His voice dropped at least 5 whole steps when he was sleepy and I couldn't handle it.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"What?"

My heart leapt and my stomach churned. There was silence and light snoring. Was he on drugs? Was he serious? That's not something you say when you're drifting off when you don't mean it. Maybe Kevin was in the room? What just happened?

"Avi? Avi! Hello?"

"... Rachael..."

Of course he would be dreaming about his ex at a time like this.

"Idiot..."

I didn't understand why, but I felt hurt. Betrayed! The light feeling in my chest was instantly replaced with this almost physically painful sinking feeling. It felt a little harder to breathe. I hung up the phone and tossed it at my wall, making a satisfying thunk before I curled into a ball. I heard my door open.

"Mitch? Are you okay?"

I couldn't bring myself to even begin to say the words. I just laid there, holding my head in my hands and trying to make sense of these feelings.

"Mitch?"

He reached down and wiped a tear from my face. A tear? I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I hadn't even noticed my body's reaction. I tried to stammer out some form of explanation, but only ended up crying harder. Scott sighed and pulled me against his chest, slightly rubbing the back of my head.

"Tell Sperm Bucket what's wrong."

"I can't."

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