To the First Officer who called me a disgusting f@g before Rank started: Yes. You deserved to be the only one to die. And no. It wasn't unfair that the hunter turned friendly to the three of us after you went flying through the sky :) Also, you're not getting the cheese today >:Y
_____
"Survivorsss"
CursesToCurse: EMILY
CursesToCurse: LITERALLY ANYONE
CursesToCurse: HELP
EmilyDrier: What's going on, Patty?
CursesToCurse: I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED JUST
CursesToCurse: COME TO THE LAKESIDE VILLAGE QUICKLY!
Asoup: isn't there a match going on right now?
CursesToCurse: YES IT'S US
BottomInDenial: how do you have your phone?!
CursesToCurse: JOSEPH LET ME GO GET IT, WE HAVE A PROBLEM
LuckyGay: Patricia calm down, and tell us what happened
CursesToCurse: FIONA GOT STUCK ON A PORTAL
EmilyDrier: WHAT
CowardBrat: OH MY GOD
CoordinatingThemAll: IS SHE OKAY?!
Dora_TheExplorer: HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!
CursesToCurse: SHE'S REALLY SCARED AND WE DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
CursesToCurse: JOSEPH CALLED MARY FOR HELP BUT SHE HAS NO IDEA OF WHAT TO DO AS WELL
CursesToCurse: EMILY PLEASE YOU'RE OUR ONLY RESOURCE NOW
EmilyDrier: I'm coming right now!
EmilyDrier: While I'm going, tell me what's going on so I can get a hold of a situation.
CursesToCurse: Joseph and Mary are trying to find a way of pulling her out without ripping her in half.
CursesToCurse: Mike and Edgar are trying to calm her down.
CursesToCurse: and I'm scared for my girlfriend's life👍🏽
Rat: at least now she can't steal my cookies
Rat: maybe she needs to get stuck on portals more often
Rat: preferably at dinner time
Asoup: NO REALLY, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM
LuckyGay: LUCA FOR THE LOVE OF THE RATS, TAKE SOMETHING SERIOUSLY FOR ONCE
Rat: welp my job here is done
EmilyDrier: Patricia, has any of you touched her in any way? Like, put a hand on her arm or something...
CursesToCurse: we're scared to even enter the area she's in.
EmilyDrier: Great! Don't touch her! We don't know what might happen if you get in physical contact with her.
EmilyDrier: Tell her to stay calm and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NOT. TO. MOVE.
CursesToCurse: WILL DO, SIR
_______
At the map~~
"I'm here. Where is she?" Emily greeted Patricia as she entered the main gate.
"On the boat. She was trying to make a portal from the first floor to the basement and now she's stuck!" Patricia said as they ran to the boat.
"Are you more calm now, Fiona?" Mike asked her.
"Meh if I'm going to die at least make it quick."
"Mood"
"You're not going to die! Emily will solve this out!" Edgar reassured, as he knelt down next to her.
"Guys, I'm itchy on my leg :/"
"And now you wait."
"Okay so what if like, one of us pulls her up and the other one pushes her up by the legs?" Joseph suggested.
"I'll push her if anything. You're not allowed to see her panties. You have a boyfriend."
"IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT RIGHT NOW, MARY?! REALLY??"
"NO! DON'T PULL HER!" Emily chimed in.
"EMS! OH THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE"
"Yeah yeah I'm a life saviour, now what do we have here..."
"What does it look like to you?" Fiona asked her with an unimpressed look, as she rested her head on her hand.
"Do you have any idea on how this happened?" Emily asked while she tried to analyse the scene in front of her.
"It might be some kind of kink she has. Maybe she was trying to do the dirty with Patricia and boom! She got stuck." Luca said through the phone.
"LUCA! HOW DID YOU CALL ME WITHOUT ME NOTICING?!" Emily screamed.
"SORRY TO INTERRUPT, BUT I'M STILL STUCK"
"Shut up, Fiona! It's your fault we're here!"
"What if you create another portal to cancel the energy of that one?" Emily asked, ignoring the rat on the other side of the line.
"I don't know if that would work, since that one would be above this one..." Fiona replied.
"What if you click the ' I'M STUCK ' button?"
"WOW LUCA YOU'RE A GENIUS I HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF THAT!"
"Okay let's calm down, everyone. Miss Gilman, try to create another portal." Mary suggested.
"What if I get ripped in half?"
"It's one less problem in the world-"
"LUCA!"
"If something happens, I promise I'll take care of you."
"You'll take care of a body that's ripped in half? That's... wow."
Patricia violently took the phone on her hand "SHUT UP YOU RAT! IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO HER, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU GET SNAPPED IN HALF TOO, BUT IN A MOUSE TRAP!"
"But I want the cheese ;-;"
"Miss Gilman, try. We're here if something happens or if you're in pain." Joseph reassured her.
"That's RICH coming from you, Joseph."
And then Patricia broke the phone.
"T-that was mine-" Emily cried.
:(
Fiona made her portal.
"Where the fuck did she go?" Mike asked as everyone looked around.
"I'M OKAY" She yelled from the basement.
"Oh thank god."
"She's alive?! Aw..."
"Mr Balsa, how did you call my number?!"
"Chillax Mary, it's pretty easy to call you when you have an open number."
YOU ARE READING
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FanfictionThe crack is on fire here. EVERYTHING IN HERE IS A PURE JOKE They're all tiny rats and you can't do anything about it 🐀 A lot of adult jokes!!! (Seriously, a lot of them) Sometimes I break the fourth wall 👉👈 Luca is coming after yall's knees. I'm...
