NASRIN

CHAPTER 46

Ahmad.

I looked at her , her eyes were piercing mine , anxiously awaiting my answer .

How do I tell her that I don't love her sister .
Or the fact that I was never a good person to her sister .
I was a monster in her sisters life which I now wish I could change the hands of time .

I looked at her , still in my own trance . The ringtone of my phone brought me out of my thought and I checked immediately.

"Tanisher was calling" I excused myself immediately without answering her , almost thanking tanisher for calling . I couldn't imagine what I was to say .

A part of me also felt happy , seeing her call me .

I missed her .

I picked up immediately, placing the phone on my ears .

"Hello" there was silence .
"Tanisher" I called out again but no answer .

I could hear air movement on her background but she wasn't speaking.
I felt like I was in a tangle between two women . I love tanisher , but nasrin ? .
Why do I suddenly take interest in her , wanting to be around her more than I do with tanisher .

Guilt was ripping me off and she was still keeping quiet . I heard the call end and i brought my phone to my eyes .

It was tanisher , I was already loosing my mind .
Out of anger , I didn't know when I threw the phone to the wall .

I was broken yet I broke so many lives .
I was a Shitty person!.

Tanisher .

"Mom , it's okay , I have already booked a fight home I promise" I tried assuring Mami .

"If you know you haven't, you should have better do it soon" she said before ending the call on me .

I have just gotten back from Lagos and now my parents want me back in America in a week time .

Nahh this stress isn't for me .

I laid my head on my couch , gently taking In fresh air .

My head was aching from constant thinking , I was always thinking about him , I miss him yet I don't want anything to do with him anymore .

My heart was broken and shattered.

He was a monster in a human skin , yet I fell so deep for him .
I should have known , I always have a thing for muslim guys yet they always break me at the end .

Damn I was willing to accept Islam , which I still do . At first it was all because of him I wanted to convert but now I have so many reasons to convert .

I was a sinner and I believe Islam offers a conversion experience and the opportunity to get one's life in order, without needing to confess ones sin and need of salvation.

They seem to be all equal , that day looking at nasrin's eyes , I could see the pain she felt for khultum even though she kept hitting her . She wasn't a bad person either , she also doesn't deserve everything from Ahmad , she wasn't happy . All this while , I was stealing her happiness away from her .

I badly want to leave him but my constant yearning for him keeps bringing me back . I didn't know when I picked my phone and dialed his number.