new directions | glee

5. HAPPINESS ☑️

CHAPTER FIVE |
happiness

***

KAYLA AND RACHEL were the only ones left after rehearsals on Monday. The show was a week away from opening and both girls were caught on Artie's words. He didn't say it to Kayla because obviously she wasn't a virgin and everyone knew about her escapade with Puck. Instead, Artie told Blaine and Rachel to properly play the sexual magnitude of Tony and Maria, they needed to lose their virginities and it wasn't sitting right with Kayla.

Rachel was throwing the stuff in her bag around, groaning as she looked on for something in it. Kayla frowned, taking a breath before she stepped forward. "Rach? Are you okay?"

Rachel looked back with a glare before she recognized that it was Kayla calling for her and her face visibly relaxed. "Yeah. Just looking for my phone."

"Um, it's in your pocket." Kayla answered, trying to hold in her laughter. Rachel was obviously a little frazzled at the moment and surely Artie's words had only managed to piss her off rather than actually help her. It was embarrassing to be called out as a virgin in front of your teachers, no less. It was normal that Rachel and Blaine hadn't done it yet. They were only teenagers. It's not like it was a big deal.

"Oh." Rachel frowned, pulling her phone out of her pocket. Kayla thought it through for a second before she approached her friend.

Kayla put a hand on Rachel's shoulder and a wave of relief washed over her when she didn't feel a single butterfly touching her. There was still this little twinge in her stomach, but it was hardly the massive feelings she had a few weeks ago. She knew that had in part to do with the fact that she and Ollie were getting more serious and the more time they spent together, the more Kayla realized how in love she was. "You know, it's okay that you haven't had sex yet."

Rachel grimaced. "It's embarrassing. I'm eighteen and I've never done it. How am I supposed to play sexy roles if there's not a sexy bone in me?"

"First off, you can do anything you set your mind to. Second, I distinctly remember many makeout sessions in which you showed how sexy you are, so I don't think you have anything to be embarrassed about." Kayla answered, though ducked her head a little when she mentioned the sexual part of their past relationship.

Rachel blushed slightly, chuckling. "Hilarious. That still doesn't make me sexually awakened enough to play Maria."

Kayla shook her head. "You don't need to have sex to be Maria. Just tap into those kisses you have with Finn. Pretend that you're sharing the stage with him and it'll be easy. You love him, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do." Rachel nodded and for once, Rachel admitting that she loved Finn didn't hurt Kayla like it used to. She was healing.

"That's all you need to do." Kayla noted and Rachel smiled, pulling her in for a hug. It didn't pain her to wrap her arms around Rachel this time. She just let it happen.

Kayla pulled back with a smile. "Hey, I've been writing this song pretty much since Nationals and I was wondering if you could give me a little feedback." Rachel smiled, nodding as Kayla pulled her over to the piano.

Kayla took a deep breath as she sat down, looking up at Rachel's expectant brown eyes. "So, when I started this song, I was trying to find closure over everything that happened between us and writing this made me realize that I just want both of us to be happy, whether that's with each other or not."

Rachel's smile was soft as Kayla started playing the first notes. She regretted what happened last year. She shouldn't have been with Kayla at all. She recognized that she broke her, but ever since Ollie came along, Rachel had never seen her more happy. She was sure there were still some feelings there. She had feelings of her own. Kayla was her first almost-girlfriend, the first girl she'd ever kissed, and that meant a lot to her. What she had with Kayla was unforgettable and she thanked her lucky stars every day that she got to spend that time with her. She just wished that she hadn't been so selfish and let Kayla go before it went so far. The fact that she could stand here right now and be her friend meant the world to her and she was so lucky Kayla hadn't given up on her completely.