Tax Principles (Law of Attraction Series # 3)

Prologue

People say you are not drowned by falling into a deep sea, you drown because you choose to stay there. Strong wind, big waves, and hard currency of the deep ocean. I was pulled down by the depths of the sea, I keep reaching up and asking for help but as I move my feet it keeps pulling me down by the water.

Hopes started to fade as the light from above was slowly vanishing from my sight, I kept my mouth shut trying to save some remaining air inside of my body. My small hand keeps moving in a circular motion and tries to lift my body up.

As I open my eyes in the middle of the dark ocean, fear started to eat me which leads to slowly losing movement in my small body. I close my eyes as I give up and stop moving, I leisurely lose air as small bubbles escape from my mouth and nose.

Habang hinahayaan kong hilain ako ng tubig pababa, isang malakas na pagbagsak ang naramdaman ko sa paligid kasabay ng paggalaw ng tubig sa ilalim ng dagat. Unti-unti kong iminulat ang aking mga mata ngunit ito'y nanlalabo na.

Naaninag ko ang isang batang lalakeng lumalangoy papunta saking pwesto, hindi kona magawang tignan ito ng mabuti dahil unti-unti na'rin akong nawawalan ng hangin sa katawan.

Papalapit na siya, I lift my right hand to reach for him and as his hands held my hands the freezing coldness under the water suddenly warmed when his hands touch mine but that's also the time when I lose conscience.

***

I was looking for that one guy who save me when I was young. I was finding and seeking him since the day I open my eyes to the hospital. They say he looks like so handsome teen guy, which means much older than me, or maybe he just looks so mature.

I remember when I open my eyes and see his presence in a blurry sight, I can still remember how my heart raced that time, I remember his lips touching mine and I didn't forget that touch and now I'm seeking that guy and promise to love him with all my heart someday.

"Are you ready?" She said, I nodded and followed her as she walks in front of me, while I stay at the back and remain watching every step I take. Bakit ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko? Bakit nanlalamig ang aking mga kamay? Bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko?

She guided me to the hall and leave after handing me the papers I need. "Hi, Miss," suddenly a group of guys appeared in front of me and get my things around and play with them. "Akin na yan! Wag niyong galawin ang mga yan!!!" I try to get my things from them but they're too big for me to reach.

Patuloy nilang pinagpasa-pasa ito, At patuloy ko rin' itong pinipilit kunin pabalik. "Akin na sabi eh!!!" I try everything, reaching, jumping, and pulling but I still can get it. "Hey, don't play with that," Suddenly a voice behind me speaks and makes this guy stop, their faces suddenly look so scared and they quickly give my things back and run away. When I look around and our eyes met....my heart started to pound.

***

"Alliana, look at me," He deeply said as he stands right by my side, but I choose to avoid his gaze and keep focusing on what I'm doing.

Ramdam ko ang bigat ng paligid, kasabay ng presensya niya saking tabi, kung pano niya ako titigan gamit ang mga matang iyon. Hindi ko magawang sumuko at tignan iyon ngayon. "Alliana, I said look at me," again he repeats and tries to ask me to face him. But I didn't move, not now.

Naramdaman ko ang kanyang pagbuntong hininga saking tabi, dahil tumama ito saking balat. "How do you feel right now?" He weakly asks as he reach for my hands and gently lift it up and give a kiss on my palm, and make it touch his face.

This time I glance at him and see fear on those strong eyes, puno ng takot ang kanyang mga mata,,hindi ko magawang tignan ito ng matagal dahil pakiramdam ko nanghihina ako pagnakikita ko ang mga matang iyon at emosyon na iyon.

He closes his eyes as he rubs my hands on his face and feels my palm on those handsome faces. His expression shows so much fear and sadness.

"Tell me, do you still love him?" He asks as he opens his eyes, and met my gaze. Suddenly my chest feels so heavy and my headaches. "I don't," after saying that once again I avoided his gaze.

He reaches for my face by letting go of my hand and held my face using both of his hands instead. He made me face him and look at his unbearable emotions of him. I don't want to stare at it for so long, I don't! I can't.

"Do you still love him?" He asks, I automatically avoid his stare and look around as I answer. "No, I don't" I heard him sigh and catch my eyes by standing at the view I was looking at. "Look at me in the eyes and tell me, do you still love that man?" bakit iba ang tono ng boses niya ngayon? Bakit pakiramdam ko may mangyayaring masama?

Bakit ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko at sumisikip lalo ang aking dibdib, bakit nahihirapan akong huminga? "Tell me, Ali, please," He gently whisper and look at me in the eyes like he was reading my soul.

I gather all my strength before I answer, "No, I don't love him anymore," I said, pero bakit kinakabahan ako? Hinintay ko ang magiging reaksyon niya ngunit unti-unti niya lamang binitawan ang mukha ko at isang luha ang tumulo sakanyang mga mata.

What's this? He smiles bitterly and avoided my gaze this time, "I knew it," he whispers and bites his lips so hard, what did he know? "You still love him," He said and look at me with his tears falling from those eyes. W-what?

"I already said no," I said and frowned at him, and confusedly wait for him to speak again. "No, you still love him Alliana, your eyes never lie at me," as he says those words his voice cracked. Anong ibig niyang sabihin? sinagot ko na siya bakit pilit niyang sinasabi na hindi?

"No, I don't love hi-------," he cut me out by standing straight in front of me, wipe his tears, and flashes a fake smile in front of me. Hindi ko alam ang aking gagawin, at lalo na ang susunod niyang sasabihin bakit ako nakakaramdam ng pagkalito sa oras na ito. "Let's stop fooling ourselves, let's stop this," He bitterly said as he tries to hide his cracked voice behind his fake laugh.

"What do you mean?" My started heart pounding so fast, and It's hard to breathe even more. "I'll let us go, I'll let you go," He whisper and turn his back on me, suddenly his turning his back on me almost kill me so I stop him and hugged his back. "No, I don't love him anymore, don't do this," I said and tears started to escape from my eyes.

"No Alliana, I need to lose you to find me, let's stop trapping ourselves in this relationship when we clearly know that this wasn't really in the first place," he tries to remove my hands from his waist.

"Wasn't real?" I utter,  "Yes, there is no love, because you never love me from very the start." he wins and finally removes my arms around him and walks away from me. "I was the only one, who consider this relationship with love... but you, you only see this as beneficiary principles of partnership, you only see me as a debt to pay but" he stops.

"You never love me, Alliana."