Sitting on the usual stone I swung my feet back and forth as the bottom of my shoes skiffed along the top of the water, the snow blowing around me as I rubbed my hands together, trying to get some sort of warmth to my red raw fingers before rubbing my nose which had started to turn pink in colour, my body having became numb from the cold.
"How have you not froze out here?" Turning around I smiled at Draco who was walking down the snow covered slope towards me, wrapped tightly in warm clothes as I shrugged while he sat down next to me and I stopped swinging my feet so I didn't kick him
"So how did you end up being out here by yourself? I thought you would've been with Parkinson and Zabini" he said as I shook my head silently and he turned his head to me as I done the same, offering a smile as he looked at me confused
"How come you're not talking? Are you just not wanting my company?" He asked as I shook my head with a smile, turning to look at the amused look on his face as I rolled my eyes and nudged him as he kicked me and I tried to stifle my laughter
"Have you lost your voice or-? Oh... it's the second of February" he said quietly with a hint of realisation as I nodded silently, staring out at the lake and the hills beyond
"I always wondered, in first and second year... I just thought it was pure coincidence, now I can see it's not though. I just presumed that you had lost your voice from a cold, but then Zabini has said that you've never gotten ill... do you talk at all? To anyone?" He asked quietly as I shook my head and fumbled with the sleeves of my grey turtleneck top with my numb fingers as I looked back to water
"Everyone is curious you know, even me if I have to admit it. But no one has pressed the matter, they've just presumed that you don't want to talk about it.... or at all" he told me as the two of us kept quiet and I stared down at my feet, my mind racing
"Every year, I stay silent and come here... and imagine that this is the spot where everything I've lost since my childhood is washed up. I tell myself, that a tiny figure would appear on the horizon across the lake, and gradually get larger until I would see it was him, and he'd wave, and maybe call. I don't let the fantasy go beyond that. I can't let it" I explained quietly, as I stared at the water before turning my head to him after a couple of silent minutes as I kept my eyes on him
"It's the first time I've heard you speak on the second day of February, it's a miracle" he said quietly, a small smirk on his face as I tried not to laugh as he turned his head to me, just as a strong gust of wind hit us from behind as I jumped and he started laughing
"This is why I wear a coat"
"Oh shut up"
"... is this about Everton?" He asked quietly after a moment as I nodded silently
"I remind myself that I was lucky to have of had any time with him at all. It was still my fault at the end of the day"
"How can you say that? You couldn't have of been to blame-"
"But it was me who pushed him. I shouldn't have of done it" I said quietly, moving my hands to rub at my face as I sighed before lifting my head a moment later, reaching around as I unclasped his chain as I held it out to him as he took it and looked at his initials that were engraved into the back of the cross before I took in a slightly shaking breath, not believing what I was about to do
"I caused it. It was my idea to go to the cliffs that day. We had always been pushing each other to the limits, ever since we we could walk, seeing how long it would take until either of us cracked and backed out of some stupid idea we had. We were walking along- I don't even know why we were allowed to go there by ourselves- and then we were walking along the edge, about a foot or so away and he nudged me so I nudged him back, and it went on and on, when he shoved me I got back up and pushed him harder than I should've. I still see his face. It was just a look of pure surprise as he stumbled back, thinking there was more space behind him before he fell backwards, it was like he was falling in slow motion and I swear I tried to grab him, I did, but I was too late... I watched him hit the bottom. It was instant" I told him quietly as I stared at the water through blurry eyes as I sat with my head in my hands as his face flashed in front of my eyes, a ghost of a grin as a look of surprise stayed permanently on his face
YOU ARE READING
Storms Ahead
Fanfiction**trigger warning: this story will contain scenes of a violent relationship, self harm, attempted suicide, depression and anxiety** (I understand that this may be personal and emotional towards readers and that's why I'll leave it up to you to decid...
