Ours. |knj + ksj| (eng)

27

Weeks: twenty-six

Jin felt like he couldn't breathe when tears filled his eyes. He could hear the sound of his heart breaking.

He closed the curtains in his room because he couldn't watch it any longer. He sat on his bed and sobbed loudly.

She kissed him. She kissed him. But most importantly he kissed her back.

Jin closed his eyes, the whole scene still playing over and over in his head.

How could I be so stupid? I thought he loved me. I thought he had feelings for me, I thought that he cared about me. But he had played me, used me. Again. Just like he had done a few months ago.

Jin took his bags and with tears in his eyes, he began to pack. He didn't want to be in Namjoon's house anymore, in his life anymore.

He didn't want me nor the baby.

How could I be so stupid? Thinking that someone would truly love me, thinking that Namjoon would truly love me.

He sobbed and took the bag with clothes for her and himself. He looked around, remembering all those things he said to him between those walls, all those touches they shared.

Lies. All lies.

He heard the door unlocking and he walked out of his room, putting his shoes on. It was hard, his belly bump being in a way, but just when the entrance opened, he began to walk out.

"Jin?" Namjoon called out to him, confused but he just walked past him, bumping into his shoulder.

"Jin, where are you going?" 

The younger followed him. The older stayed quiet, only tears were streaming down his face. Namjoon grabbed his arm but the latter fought against him.

"Let me go."

"Jin, what happened?"

"Are you serious right now?!" he snapped at Namjoon. "What happened? I should ask you that! Where did the 'I love you's went when you shoved your tongue in her throat?!" he yelled. Namjoon's mouth fell open.

"You fucking lied to me!"

"No, please, Jin, don't do this. Let's go inside and talk about this."

"NO! There's no reason to talk," Jin pulled away.

"Please, believe me, I didn't want to. Yoongi was watching, so-"

"Stop with this bullshit, Namjoon! So, what? He was watching. What kind of excuse is that?! We are going to have a baby, for fucks sake! If you cannot stand up for yourself then how do you wanna raise her?! Hiding in the garden, in the house?" he screamed at his face.

"How do you think it makes me feel. You promised me that you are going to leave her!" Jin sobbed, heartbroken. "You promised and yet nothing! I am tired of your bullshit, I am tired of your excuses and I'm tired of being the second one. You don't have to be with me! You don't! But stop breaking my heart, Namjoon!"

He began to walk away, expecting Namjoon to run after him but he didn't. Jin just closed his eyes and sobbed, while getting away from his house.

He knocked on Jungkook's door and he opened it after a while...

...

"Honey, dinner's ready!"

"I am not hungry, ma," Namjoon hugged a pillow and closed his eyes. The events of today left him sad and broken. And it was all his fault.

He heard the door open and light from the corridor hit his eyes. He felt the bed move as his mother sat next to him. She caressed his hair and Namjoon looked at her.

"Go away...," he whispered, feeling the urge to cry.

But she didn't. She sat there, caressing his head softly.

"What's wrong?" She asked quietly but only silence was her answer, while Namjoon threw swear words at himself in his mind.

She breathed out and stopped caressing his hair but stayed in his room.

"You won't bother me, if you tell me, honey," she said as she would read Namjoon's thoughts, "Is it about Seokjin?"

He nodded but stayed quiet.

"I saw that he left."

He nodded again.

"I like him. He is so polite and kind," she rubbed Namjoon's back, "his cooking is really good."

He smiled through the sadness he felt. "Yeah, he is."

"Did you two fight?"

"Yes."

"A big fight?"

"Yes."

"What was it about?"

Namjoon sobbed loudly.

"I... I kissed Minhee in front of him."

"Minhee is that girlfriend of yours?" His mum asked and Namjoon nodded.

The silence filled up the room again.

"Because Yoongi was watching and he is homophobic and Jin got mad because I told him how much I love him and he didn't believe me anymore after he saw that kiss and I also promised that I would break up with her but I didn't and... and... Jin left because he doesn't trust me and he doesn't want to be the second one but he never was but now he is gone."

His mum was watching him, her expression emotionless. The tears streamed down his face.

"Well, as your mum I should be on your side but... I'm going to be honest with you - you fucked up, Namjoon."

"I know. I know and it hurts because I care about him and about the baby..."

She rubbed his son's back again while he hopelessly sobbed.

"Well, I would tell you how to fix this but I think you already know..."

Namjoon looked into her eyes.

She was right.

There is only one way how to fix it. And he was going to do that.