Ours. |knj + ksj| (eng)

29

Weeks: twenty-six

"Jungkook, you did WHAT?" Jin raised his voice at the younger, who was now looking down at the floor.

"I... I slapped him," Jungkook admitted and the other stared at him.

"Oh my god. Why?"

"Because he hurt you, Hyung," Jungkook said, finally looking at the older, "He deserved it, he is an asshole."

Jin stared at him.

"But you gotta admit that, Jin," Jungkook said defensively, "he deserved it."

The older sighed.

"Firstly, don't call him an asshole. Second of all, I don't condone violence, so you will never do it again," Jungkook sighed but Jin continued after a tiny while of silence, "and third of all... thank you. He did deserve it."

Jungkook smiled.

"But don't do it again, okay?" the older warned him and the younger nodded.

The doorbell rang and Jungkook went to get it.

"Okay, mom," he rolled his eyes playfully.

"Stop calling me 'mom', Jungkook," Jin yelled from the other room when the latter opened the door. "I am not your mom."

The younger widened his eyes when he saw the person, whom he had slapped in the morning.

"Hi, is Jin here?"

"What are you doing here, Namjoon?" Jungkook leaned against the door frame crossing his arms on his chest.

"Please, is he here?"

"He doesn't want your shitty apologies nor stupid promises. You hurt him," Jungkook frowned.

Jin was sitting on a bed in the other room, listening to the whole conversation.

"Please, Jungkook, please. I know you are mad at me but let me inside. I need to talk to him," Namjoon begged, trying to get past the younger.

Jin got up and looked from the door of his bedroom. The latter saw his almost hidden face and his eyes widened.

"Seokjin. Please listen to me-"

"Go away, Namjoon," Jungkook interrupted him, trying to close the door but the other put his foot in the frame.

"Please, Seokjin, I love you."

The younger's voice was full of sadness and pain. He sounded like he was about to cry.

"Please, let's talk. I am stupid. I am the dumbest person. I know you probably hate me so much. But please... just let me talk to you," Namjoon sobbed, a tear streaming down his cheek.

Jin's eyes watered. His walls that he built around his heart to protect himself were slowly but surely crumbling right in front of him.

He still cared about Namjoon. He still loved Namjoon.

And he tried to be strong. He had imagined their conversation many times in his head. He had known exactly what he would say when he would see him again.

But right now, when the moment really came, all those strong and powerful words left his mind because he realized that his heart still whispered his name.

He still loved Namjoon.

And no matter how much he tried not to care for the latter or deny his feelings, he still did. He always had and always did.

Namjoon didn't want to cry but he felt miserable, hopeless and desperate. He had never wanted something as much as he wanted to talk to Jin at the moment. He wanted to tell him how much he meant to him. That he would go to hell and back for him. That he would kill himself if that would make the older happier.

"I... I understand if you don't. I know I fucked up hard," he said after a few seconds of silence, pain in his voice. He almost put his foot from the space between the door and the frame, when Jin's voice pierced the room.

"Let him in."

"What?" Jungkook turned to his friend, shocked expression on his face, "B-but..."

"I know," Jin said, his guard falling to the ground, "but... please."

The older didn't know if he made a mistake. But maybe letting the latter talk wouldn't be too bad.

Jungkook did, what his best friend had told him but when Namjoon walked past him, he sent him a death glare.

Namjoon came inside Jin's bedroom and closed the door. The older sat on a bed and looked at the latter.

There was a while of silence. Namjoon knew that he should be the one talking but he didn't know how and where to start.

"I... I broke up with her."

"You should have already done that weeks ago."

Namjoon sighed.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I'm really stupid. I hate myself for hurting you. I should be the one to protect you from the bad but the only bad thing in your life is me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry but you cannot expect me to run into your arms. I can't just simply trust you again. I... I know that we probably weren't even dating but... seeing you with her broke my heart, Namjoon. And it will take a while to put it together."

Namjoon's eyes filled with tears.

"I understand. You have the right to be mad, pissed, sad or whatever you're feeling right now."

They both got quiet for a while, the only sound was the clock ticking.

"Do you... will you still give me a chance though?" Namjoon asked the question that filled his heart with anxiety and fear. He was scared of hearing the answer.

"It will take a while," Seokjin said after a few seconds passed, "but it's not impossible though. When I told you I loved you, I meant it. And I still do. That's why you're here in my room right now. If I didn't have feelings for you, I wouldn't let you in."

The latter rose his gaze and his eyes met with Seokjin's teary ones.

"You know how much I hate myself right now? I was so afraid that you're going to leave me. I was so afraid that you won't give me another chance. Because my feelings for you are real. It might not seem so right now but I'm serious. I won't fuck this up this time."

"I hope you mean it. I really do. Because you wouldn't get a third chance."

"I won't need it. I promise I'm going to do better-"

"Don't do that. I don't want your promises, Namjoon," Seokjin shook his head in disagreement, "I want action. Show me that you mean it. Show me that you love me, Namjoon."

The latter nodded.

"I'm going to try to make it up to you. I want you, Jin. I want you to be my partner, my love. I want you to live with me. And I also want to be a part of our daughter's life. Because I love you both. And I want to show that to you every day. You are important to me," Namjoon sat next to him, "You both are."

When the younger finished talking, the silence spread through the room. No one knew what to say.

"C-can I... it's fine if you say 'no'," Jin looked at the other, "But... I was wondering... can I rub your belly?"

Every rational part of his brain screamed 'no'. But he was so touch-deprived, he needed it badly. He got used to being so close to Namjoon and now, when he hadn't felt his embrace around him, he craved his presence and his love like a person, who hadn't eaten in the last few days and saw an apple in front of him.

He nodded slowly.

Namjoon moved closer to him. The younger's hand caressed the baby bump of the latter and at that moment, Jin just wanted to wrap his arms around him and feel his warmth again and enjoy that homely and safe feeling that appeared in his chest whenever he was embraced by the younger.

He had missed him. He had missed him so goddamn much.

But he took the rest of his self-control and didn't do anything - he was only sitting there, watching Namjoon's fingertips brush against his belly.

"I'm going to fix it, Jin. I will."