Ours. |knj + ksj| (eng)

30

A/N: Hi, guys! Another Monday, another chapter. I posted a new Namjin story called "Pulchritūdō", you can find it in my one-shots book(s) on my profile. It's definitely worth giving it a shot ;)

You can join me on Twitter too, I am here: @FerKie17 - so we can chat, you can find out about new stories or message me for requests.

Thank you so much for reading and enjoying this story. We have the last 10 chapters ahead of us :) Luv luv

Weeks: twenty-six

Namjoon let the warm water fall on his face. He breathed out and closed his eyes, his mind filling with guilt.

He rubbed the soap on his body and the water cleaned everything right away.

He got out of the shower and wrapped the towel around his waist. He opened the white cabinet.

There were still four toothbrushes, Jin hadn't managed to pack his own. It was there as a reminder of what he had done, as a reminder that it was real and he had fucked up. It was a reminder that he had to work.

He tried to push the anger that he had at himself to the back of his head. This wasn't a good time to hate himself, this was a time to think about how he was supposed to gain Jin's trust back.

And yet he couldn't help but feel an undeniable urge to slap himself at least as hard as Jungkook had done the day before.

He understood Jin. He understood it all, if he had been in the other's shoes, he perhaps wouldn't have given the second person another chance. But Jin was different. He loved him although he had done a mistake and he wanted to forgive him. All it took to win his trust back, which could be hard but Namjoon was going to do it. He was going to show Jin that he loved him and that he cared for him.

He had to at least try. Not only for him but for Jin and for their daughter.

...

Weeks: twenty-seven

"What's this?" Jungkook ate his cereal and looked at the pile of letters on the dining table. He took it and looked at the envelopes, where Jin's name was written.

"Let me guess - Namjoon?"

Jin sighed, playing with the teabag in his cup of warm water.

"Probably. I don't know. I haven't opened them yet."

"Why not?" the other looked at his best friend, who was staring at the tea, "Can I?"

"Yeah, just don't tell me, what it is," he sighed, biting into his sandwich.

Jungkook opened the envelope and took out the papers.

"Okay, there's a letter and oh my god! That's our math homework! And it's completed! Can I use it?"

Jin smiled. "Of course."

"Thank you, you literally saved my life," Jungkook looked at the letter and read it quietly while eating his breakfast.

He put it down after a while.

"Why don't you read them?"

The older didn't reply. He thought about his answer but nothing, except the truth, came to his mind.

"I... I don't know," he shrugged his shoulders and finished his breakfast. He placed the plate into the sink.

The truth was that he was scared. He was scared of being hurt again; he was scared of falling harder in love.

He wanted to trust Namjoon, he wanted to be with him. There was still love in his heart for the handsome male with adorable dimples. But his mind was telling him to be cautious, telling him that Namjoon might do it again.

He wanted to believe that the latter dated her only for his image, to appear straight. But his afraid brain was trying to convince him that it wasn't true, that he had feelings for him only because they had a kid together.

And Seokjin was overthinking and overanalyzing everything Namjoon had said and done, while they had been living together and even before he had moved in. All the tender touches, soft kisses and loving words were etched in his mind. Were they true though?

He needed them to be. He really did. He hoped and prayed with his whole soul that they were true.

"Well, then I guess I'll go. Bye, Jin," Jungkook waved to him. "Bye Bubble," he rubbed his belly and went to the hall, putting his shoes on. The older smiled and placed a snack into his hands.

"Enjoy your day."

And when the door closed, the latter breathed out. He walked into the kitchen and washed the dishes. The letters on the table caught his eyes. He rubbed his forehead.

He shouldn't be afraid to open them. 'They are just letters, they are not going to eat me,' he said to himself but he still stood afar, as if it was a dangerous animal ready to attack him any minute.

Maybe the object itself couldn't kill him as that predator but the words written on the paper could hurt his soul and devour his heart. And that was maybe even more dangerous than a poisonous snake.

"That's so childish," he said to himself. "You're a grown-ass man."

He came closer and grabbed the letter, which was previously read by Jungkook. He opened it and took the piece of paper out. He closed his eyes before looking at it and breathed out.

Hi, Jin!

I hope you're doing well. I hope Bubble is healthy and doesn't cause too much trouble.

There is not a day when I don't think about you. About your marvellous smile and your adorable laugh. How your eyes light up when you are talking about something you love or how you chew on your pen when you are doing schoolwork. How you lip-sync to songs unintentionally while you are cooking or how you stick your tongue while you concentrate.

Every day when I wake up without you by my side, I feel like there is something wrong. I come to the kitchen but you're nowhere to be found and I realize how much I miss you. Or when I come home from school and the only thing waiting for me is silence. No Jin, no laughter, no lunch, nothing. Just defeating loneliness instead of your warm hug.

And when I hear the raindrops drum against the window, I remember the night, when we finally kissed. I remember the happiness that engulfed my body, your scent and your soft skin. I remember how I felt Bubble kick and how I saw your smile. You were so beautiful. You are always so beautiful, so incredibly gorgeous that I sometimes can't believe that you are real.

I know I fucked up and as I promised, I am going to make it up to you. I'm going to repair it. I'm going to make sure that no one will ever hurt you again and you will receive unconditional support and care. Because you deserve it. You deserve to feel happy and loved because you're an incredible human being and you mean the whole galaxy to me.

I love you so much, too much maybe, because the words to describe my feelings towards you don't exist in any language known to humankind.

Sincerely yours,

Namjoon

PS: I know how much you struggle with math, so I got you a little gift. Hope it helps. :*

Jin closed the letter and when he realized that he had a smile on his face while reading it, an epiphany hit him and the only thing that he could think of was:

"Oh shit."