Sequel: Sakura Haruno, The Antihero

xxiii.

Why? Just why? Oh, I know the answer, they are seen as the villains because society forged and made them to be seen as such, their ideology are different, not aligned, or in lined with the norm of the society, it was too much to risk, while the villains could kill, the heroes couldn't. It is a matter of perspective, it's like the yin and yang, in evil, there is good, and in good there in evil. I made the same decisions as before, for giving the Akatsuki a second time at life, for giving them a future but I'm sure that in this world, it's different, quite different, it was like they were made to have an  ideology that is so strong that they don't have any redemption left, only their time in imprisonment. It's quite sad, as much as possible, I want to let them understand, help them. I, at least could do that much for them, for understanding them and their ideals thought Sakura as she made another goal in her life, at least for this world, she had a goal.

She was just gazing at the ceiling in her apartment, on her bedroom, she thought a lot of things, things about the happenings and fun that she have missed in Konoha, the past, the present, and the future. She was overthinking again, how desperate she was, how she needed help. She was depressed, in deep depression and now, it was a major one. She would sometimes cut her self but her generative abilities were too much, she could not even hurt herself, it was like an endless suffering, emotionally, and mentally.

She told Naomasa about how she missed her home, her friends, and family. He comforted her by going to the shopping malls and cooking for her but it was not enough, her happiness in this world would only remind her of the Shinobi World, the world that she did not mean to leave behind. She blamed herself for being careless, for being unknowingly grabbed by the mysterious hand, for ending up in a void,  and for gaining consciousness in the middle of a dense forest. It all happened so fast to her.

What do I really want? What are goals? What are aspirations? Even more so, what is motivation? Before, what I really wanted is to get stronger and unlock or tap the potential of the Sakura Haruno and now that it has been achieved, what use is it if I can't protect everyone, I can't protect them if I can't reach them. Do I still have growth in me? Strength? Mentality? Emotionality? What is it? Where do I need to grow? If I have the answer, how should I grow it? I already distanced myself with people as it is. Sigh, I could not blame the emotional trauma I'm experiencing since I woke up in a world that I don't have no idea about, maybe the basics but I'm still a foreigner, a foreigner not from this world. Is it really okay to get attached?

I hate to admit it, but my classmates are starting to grow on me especially those three, I need to keep motivating them, I still have it, the goal.

Sakura thought as she began to close her eyes to sleep.