I Loathe You. I Love You Too.

Chapter Thirty-Nine : anyone else could, so why can't you?

Chapter Thirty-Nine : anyone else could, so why can't you?

Paige

We got back to the hotel and I brushed my teeth with Parker next to me brushing his, why did this not bother me? The fact that it felt normal, him next to me didn't make me nervous, but it gave me butterflies. His eyes on me gave me butterflies, his presence around me gave me butterflies and being alone with him was dangerous. Not dangerous in the usual dangerous way, but dangerous in the field of feelings that I should not be feeling. If Parker put me on the sink countertop right now and kissed me passionately the chances of me pulling away were slim to none. I wouldn't even fight it.

I placed my hand on the countertop and my mind started to wonder and I knew how this shouldn't happen, him touching parts of me he never should have touched before, he shouldn't know where on my neck was sensitive and gave me goosebumps, or that in my inner thigh I was ticklish. He shouldn't know that he can hold my eyes captive but yet he still challenges how long he can without saying that he knows he can. I know he remembers that night like it was just yesterday. I'd deny it to this day that I don't remember that night but I do. I remember me being the way I was and walking him into my bed. I remember sweet talking to him, I was drunk but not wasted.

I wasn't supposed to feel these things, I wasn't supposed to want him and be imaging him touching me right now.

I shook my head trying to erase the images in my head and tried to subside the tension I had created in the air.

"You good?" Parker asked, spitting into the sink and I cleared my throat while nodding.

"Yeah."

"I'm going to shower, if you're tired just turn the lights off out there and I'll be quiet heading to the couch. It's going to be a long drive tomorrow."

I nodded before realizing what he said, "I can take the couch, you're driving tomorrow, I can always sleep in the car if I don't sleep well," I stated.

"I couldn't do that to you Paige," he shook his head.

Anyone else could, so why can't you? I wanted to say but I didn't, "I can't let you sleep on the couch."

"Your dad would insist on me sleeping on the couch."

"My dad's not here to make decisions is he? You have the bed, I got the couch," I started to walk to the door but Parker closed it before I could get to it and suddenly I was trapped between the door and him, shit. This could end in a way I told myself no to.

"I'm taking the couch."

Why do I know this isn't something I should be saying, "the bed is big enough for two, you stay on your side, I stay on mine."

Parker smiled and shook his head, "I respect you too much to do that."

"And I respect you too much to put you on the couch, think of it like this. Better sleep means a safe trip home. You'll be doing me a favor."

He smiled and shook his head, "I'll think about it," before he removed himself from me and I waited there watching him take off his shirt and he suddenly looked at me and smiled.

"You waiting for something Paige?" he asked and I felt my cheeks burn knowing he caught me checking him out, I'm so stupid.

I walked out of the bathroom and closed the door before going to the bed and under the covers, why was I nervous that if Parker climbed in right next to me I wouldn't be able to sleep because I'd think something else would happen. No, no he respects me he said. But why did I want something to happen, like before?