I Loathe You. I Love You Too.

Chapter Fifty-Seven : if you love them, let them go

Chapter Fifty-Seven : if you love them, let them go

Paige

"Parker didn't say what he wanted to say, he was quiet watching the sunset together. I mean what did I want him to say? That he wanted to try again? I know I'm not stable enough for a relationship and," Mason interrupted me.

"Babes you love him now do you not?" Mason looked at me as he added a second coat on his nails laying across my bed as I was at my vanity.

"I do," I nodded, "but I still need to talk to Mateo, things between us aren't like Parker and I were."

"See you compare your relationship with Parker with every other relationship you are trying to force yourself into but guess what my love," Mason got me looking back at him, "you won't like any relationship you get yourself into because it's not him. You're still in love with him."

"But what if it doesn't work out? I'm not mentally stable and," Mason yet again interrupted me.

"No high school romance works out, but you need him now. Scratch that, you want him now so why are you doing this to yourself?" Mason looked at me expecting some explanation.

"Because he deserves better than a fuck up."

"And did he say that?" Mason looked at me and I shook my head no.

"Let him decide that," Mason blew on his wet nails.

But Mason didn't see what I saw. I didn't want Parker to be a milestone in my life, some teen love. I wanted more, I wanted him to be there for when I'm graduating college, to wake up to and the suns against his skin. I wanted him to be my last. Not my first of many.

"I'm going to go talk to Mateo," I got up and grabbed a jacket and Mason sat up on my bed.

"Then go make things right with Parker. That man bought you that," he pointed to my painting that was leaning against my wall, "and that's junk but because you love it he loves it. You know how many men will do that? Not a lot so don't lose this moment because you're being selfish and thinking you're doing the right thing."

"I'll stop by there, talk to him about it. Give him that choice," I grabbed the keys on my desk before rushing to the car to end things with Mateo who's getting the idea that this will work and then stopping at Parker's to let him know my feelings haven't changed and that, I don't know. I'll figure it out by then though.

I drove to Mateo's house and looked at the front door, I didn't want to do this. I was just so emotionally drained to want to walk up to the house and do this right now.

I got out of the car and knocked on the door waiting for someone to answer it.

Mateo opened the door, "Hey, you didn't text me saying you were coming over," he smiled.

"I have my answer for you," I looked at him and his smile faded.

"Shit," he looked behind him before looking back at me, "come in."

I walked into his house and the house was small, his mom was in the kitchen with one of his siblings.

Mateo spoke to his mother in spanish and she responded back before he grabbed my hand and took me into a room that I hadn't been in. I came to Mateo's house once before to pick him up.

"This is your room?" I looked around and Mateo nodded, "Yeah, are you about to break my heart Paige?"

I turned around and looked at him, "Mateo," I started to say and he shook his head.

"Come on Paige, I thought those two weeks were good between up, I mean look at us!" he motioned to him and I and I opened my mouth to speak before shutting it.