Unchartered Waters ✅

Chapter 9: The Confrontation (Again)

Alex's POV

Sunday, April 11 – Martinsville Speedway

What if? If only.

Those were the phases that I kept uttering through my head as I swung my bag on my back and made the plan to get the hell out of there as quick as I could.

It'd taken my entire career to date, but I think I finally found the secret to Martinsville that my teammates claim to have. I finally was able to hold my own at the front of the field – maybe that was just how strong of a car Greg had and probably would've dominated with someone who knew what they were doing behind the wheel.

Then it fell apart, piece by piece. First the loose wheel – honest mistake by the crew member, but frustrating regardless as he should know what he is doing. Then the parking lot on the backstretch. How do you not see a bunch of wrecked cars in front of you? How do you not see a bunch of stopped cars and think of even hitting your brakes? But no, not the greatest stock car drivers in the world in the Cup Series. They instead push you right into the parked cars and cause you damage.

The only thing that gave me satisfaction on the day was seeing Chase have a solid run. No doubt the up and down start to the season was probably not helping everything else going on right now, and if a runner-up could even bring a smile to his face for a bit than that was a good thing.

Maybe there was extra satisfaction in seeing Ryan's dominating day turned upside down as well. Couldn't help but snicker in hearing he had to start from the tail of the field after running over the air hose. Couldn't help but smile in watching the No. 12 cross the finish line in 11th rather than in the top-five where he seemingly ran all day. That's karma for you – she can be a lovely bitch as they say.

"So, how did it feel to get wrecked by your best friend at The Clash?" I spew out as I see him heading to the same parking lot that I was. "If he truly loved you, he wouldn't have pulled that move."

Maybe it was built up aggression over this situation, maybe it was frustration over my own day, or maybe it was purely directed at him in caring for Chase having seen him at his worst. But those words just came tumbling out without any reservation or care.

"See, that's where you don't know Chase," he starts, having spun around to caught my attention. Truth be told, I think I knew my teammate much better than him right now with everything that has happened. "We're both drivers. We'll do whatever it takes to win. I bet you're just having fun with this..." Okay, that was a new level of disgust. Who in their mind would be having fun watching someone suffer in heartbreak, let alone their best friend?

"Why would I have fun at watching someone's heart ripped apart and torn?" I offer, because I truly had to know. Only someone who was sick would get joy from this experience. "Why would I get joy in watching you stomp on Chase's heart when you're one of a few people that he trusts beyond anyone in this world?"

"How do we know that your feelings for Chase are genuine?" He didn't answer my question – instead turned the focus on me. That seemed to be Ryan's MO when it came to any of these discussions. It was like he wanted to avoid anything focused on him – probably in fear of the whole truth coming out, as I still suspected there was more than he was saying going on.

"How do we know that yours are?" I'm sorry, but I had to ask. The only way I was going to get anywhere with this was figuring out what he was hiding. "Maybe you just stayed with him to keep Isabelle around, afraid if you revealed the truth that she would run."

I didn't genuinely believe that theory – feeling he stuck with Chase because of feelings. However, I think everything came to a head – hence the confession that night in the restaurant, and now he was going back and forth on those feelings. Maybe he acted on those feelings - maybe he meant it and felt something he wanted, or maybe he regretted it now and didn't know what to do.

Essentially, we were in a situation of Ryan being stuck in love with two people, and wondering just far he rolled the dice between them. I could've told him that, tried to understand his position. But anybody who cheats on a best friend of mine doesn't deserve an ounce of sympathy, hence taking the more direct approach. Maybe the other one would get more results, but this one made my heart feel better.

"How do we know that anybody can trust you?" He asks, once again turning the tables back on me. Continued deflection typically means you have something to hide, hoping to expose something in the other person so they're not believed if the truth shall be revealed. "After all, you're the one known for games behind people's back..." That was also a lie, as I can assure you that's not how things went down, no matter what anybody says.

"That wasn't a game, Ryan. That was called a difference of opinion." She wanted me to focus more on her, our life together, and give up some of the fun – and I wasn't about to do that. I told her the fun and cars and racing life came with me, take it or leave it. She didn't want it, so she walked away and here we are. Now, is that playing games? "I never cheated on her, or did anything to betray her trust – unlike you." At least we were able to talk about our differences and lay the groundwork, rather than create this world of deception and wonder. I should get some credit for that.

"You don't truly understand Chase." Deflection – again, and pretty sure I understand Chase more than he does right now as I know what he did is probably the worst thing he could have done. "Things weren't what they seemed to be with Kaitlyn." There's many things that I could say about her, how she handled things, and the way everything seemingly went down there. But right now – she wasn't the problem, but rather this idiot before me.

"Anybody could tell..." I decided to play along, though. I decided to play into the cards as frankly, he proved he wasn't the all mighty only person that could read what Chase was thinking and feeling. I could give you a book of evidence in how she played him, and was with him way longer than she should have been.

"No, I mean it goes beyond that." I suspected that based on his reaction to Ryan – wanting to mask everything and not feel. I suspected this hurt deeper because of being a repeat of his heart being stomped on, and I suspected this hurt deeper because of Ryan knowing everything. But I wasn't about to show that card yet – well, quite yet. Actually, showing that card could probably hit the right nerve Ryan deserved to have pulled.

"And now here we are and you've hurt him the same way. How does that make you feel, Ryan?" If he wants to continue deflecting to talking about myself, Chase, or Kaitlyn, then I am going to turn the tables right back on him. It only seemed damn fair.

"Fuck you." 10 points for Bowman – or maybe 20 considering how hard that comment looks to have stunned him. That was perfection.

You can tell something happened by how he reacted, how he knows what I am saying is the truth – and it pains my heart as much as I am satisfied at the reaction.

Maybe give me 50 points as I see a fist forming ready to hit me – okay, maybe I did hit a nerve and went a lot further than I warranted.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you," I tell him. "I wouldn't want Chase finding out you hurt the one person who's truly looking out for him right now."