Unchartered Waters ✅

Chapter 136: The Appointment

Alex takes a deep breath as they pull into the parking lot, going around a couple times, before Chase pulls them into a parking spot, and turns off the truck.

"Thank you both for coming," Alex says simply as he takes a deep breath, every single nerve picking up a whole new octave as he glances towards the building he was set to enter.

He didn't expect to be here so soon when he dialed the number. Hopefully, thanks to some connections through both Ryan and Dale, it didn't take long before he reached Mickey Collins' office, and immediately was booked for an appointment the next day.

It was even more surprising when both Chase and Ryan agreed to come with him before flying off for the upcoming race weekend. Chase told Rick the truth in that he was offering a flight to help his teammate, to which the boss appreciated. Ryan simply was thankful Jonathan was open to doing their meeting over zoom to allow his driver time to relax before the weekend.

"Are you okay?" Chase questions, noticing the immediate change in Alex's demeanor as he reaches over, placing a hand on his teammate's leg. He could only think about the possibilities of what Alex was feeling, whether related to the concussion or simply being out of the car in general. "Alex, it's going to be okay. Ryan and I are here with you every step of the way. We're going to get through this." 

"I know..." Alex simply lets the robotic response escape his lips, unwilling to speak of the feelings that clouded his judgment. 

How was he supposed to know what was reality, and what was caused by the concussion? How was he supposed to sort through the possible symptoms? How was he supposed to explain how he was feeling? Where did all these nerves come from suddenly?

Headache. Restlessness. Confusion. Nerves. Inability to think clearly. It just clouded together in his mind in a big lump, unable to find the direction he wanted as he didn't know what to feel or do next. 

None of this touched upon his emotions about not being able to race this weekend, or the possible next week beyond that. Nobody could understand what he was feeling in that regard, as a driver's home was their racecar. To be stripped of that and unable to join the rest of the boys just didn't seem right.

Despite every nerve filling him, he forced himself to step out of the rental car with the pair and head towards the doors inside of the UPMC facility, and follow the path laid out by Chase to head to Mickey's office. He remembered the directions being offered on the phone. He remembered that they spoke of tests and plans to be made to determine the right route moving forward. However, it all seemed like a blur unable to process with everything else flashing through his mind at that moment. 

"Deep breath...." Chase comments quietly as they round the corner, reaching the destination they were set to be entering. He could see the tenseness, nerves all over Alex's face despite his attempts to try and hide it. He understood it, well partially as he'd never in this situation but could understand some feelings. All he could think was to offer comfort in hopes it helped in some regard.

"You got this," Ryan adds as they walk inside the office, taking their seats, awaiting for what was to come next from Mickey. It was simple words, simple instructions, but yet it was all the boys could manage as they surrounded Alex. What else were they supposed to do?

The day started off as Mickey told them it would, with another series of tests. Vision test. Hearing test. Strength, sensation and balance. Coordination test. Another round of the dreadful ImPACT test, 20 minutes in length with questions that didn't seem they'd ever end. 

Alex hated every single one of them, feeling the headache just increase with each step taken. There was also annoyance at times, even knowing how important it was to complete these as requested. He also remembered the moment he almost fell - something about looking one way than another - and could only feel every letdown emotion in experiencing that. How was he supposed to do anything with all this going on in his mind? 

"Are you okay?" Chase asks as they sit there once they were complete, awaiting for the full results from Mickey and the next course of action. The response he got wasn't verbal, but rather physical as Alex leaned against him, head on his shoulder. He didn't care if Mickey saw them together, if something was said later about their relationship. He wanted the comfort he could only get from them as he felt totally awful.

"I just want to go home and relax," he comments, defeat laced in each word as it escaped his lips. He takes a series of deep breathes, wishing the splitting headache would disappear, wishing the thoughts that flew through his mind would leave so he could relax.

"I apologize for how strenuous everything is, but it is necessary to determine the best appropriate action," Mickey's words break up their conversation, but Alex knew enough the doctor had heard the comment offered to Chase when he thought they were alone. "Your balance was off, and it seems any motion test offered saw you thrown off your game. Does that sound about right for what you've been feeling?"

"It matches his comments after driving the sprint car," Ryan muses out loud, remembering the text messages that Chase had shared with Ryan while they were waiting at the initial appointment. Ryan wasn't quite where Chase was at his worry at that time, but the text messages took him right there. 

"So your concussion have impaired your vestibular system, which is the balance's the center of the brain. That impairs your ability to interpret motion, coordinate head and eye movement, and remain steady with motion. I can also see that it's affected cognitive issues, like your feelings, inability to concentrate, easily distracted and bothered by things. Does this sound right?" 

"That'd explain the comments..." Chase simply nods his head in response, each conversation he had shared with Alex since the initial diagnosis flashing through his mind as he ranked and reviewed it against the critia being shared.

"I want to be honest and tell you it's not going to be a simple or instant fix. There's going to be time of waiting for your body to heal, and there's going to be time where you need to take certain uncomfortable necessary steps." Mickey reaches for a stack of paper on the desk, eyes focused on Alex as he hands it over. "I want you to read through this, perhaps have Chase and Ryan do it with you if it helps. There's some exercises that I want you to start trying. 5 minutes one day, 10 minutes the next. They  are methods to help retrain the brain about space, motion, and eye movement. There are training exercises to help the sensations - dizziness, focus, balance, motor skills. Take your time with them. Come see me in two weeks and we'll do the tests once again and see the improvement, adjust the training schedule." 

"What about the anxiety, nerves that he's feeling?" Ryan didn't want to overstep the boundaries, but Alex's behavior and quietness, surrounding the questions and uncertainty was something he knew probably played a factor. He remembered reading in Dale's book how he flipflopped with it through his experience and certain things helped while others didn't. 

"Some of that is caused by the concussion. Some of that is the body overreacting. If you can handle it, Alex, then I say you just follow what I said to you. But it gets too much, don't be afraid to admit that you need help and relief. We can offer you mild anxiety pills or sleep pills if necessary - to help you get through the hard weeks." 

"Thank you, but I will be fine," Alex quickly comments, knowing that wasn't going to be necessary. 

He was going to be strong. He was going to get better, and not have to worry about any of that - he just needed to get through today to start.