Unchartered Waters ✅

Chapter 72: Those Feelings

Alex's POV

Tuesday, December 30 – Dawsonville, Georgia

It felt weird to still be here. I should really get home and finish those cars. We all know that the Chili Bowl is going to be here before I know it, and being behind isn't damn well going to help. Sure, other off-seasons I could get away with it, but we know this isn't just like those. We have testing to do – yes, I said testing. It's a strange thing to see that return for January.

But I couldn't just leave him. I knew he was still hurting. I knew there was still some things that he was thinking about as he tried to get used to it all. Sure, he's strong and no girl is supposed to bother him, but you can't deny it messing with you in some way. Even just getting used to the word rape and your name in the same sentence was challenging enough at times.

Ryan had headed home. Isabelle was back home after her tour for Hooters, and he wanted to reconnect with her. I respected that, even if I missed his ass to a degree right now. I remember when he left, telling him I hoped things were good between them, she understood everything, and hoped to see him soon.

I really hoped to see him without a t-shirt again soon, and feel those lips more because that was a damn freaking tease.

That kiss hadn't left my thoughts, as I could still feel his hot breath against my skin. It was why another question just seemed to not erase my mind.

"Have you ever had a threesome before?" I spit out, cursing every inch of my being immediately. What have I done? Why couldn't I slam my foot in my mouth before I said something? Leave it to me to open this damn door.

"Did you just ask what I thought you did?" He questions, a surprised look on his face. Now you've gone and done it, Alex.

"I was just curious..." I could walk away, pretend I never said anything, pretend it was never said. But that'd be lying, and I hadn't lied to him ever. I wasn't about to do that now so here we sat in the usual awkwardness I should be used to.

"Ryan and I were both drunk, and he kissed Isabelle. The next thing the three of us were in bed together, blaming it on intoxication in the morning. Like I said – the feelings between him and Isabelle didn't surprise me." Okay, I wasn't expecting that answer one bit as I didn't believe her connection to the pair of them went that deep. It had to make the whole ordeal that went down that much more awkward – and brought so many more questions to my mind. How did they forget about it? did it repeat once again? Was it worth it? did they want to do it again? "Have you?"

"Nope."

Truth be told, I wasn't the exploratory one in bed as he seemed to be. I usually just went through those usual motions, unlike him in knowing exactly what worked and how to be even more kinky if warranted. That's probably why my curiosity was itching to get into that room and see what the toys looked like, and how you manipulate to your advantage.

That was then, though, as that room now felt like a disgusting dungeon in knowing Kaitlyn had forced him against his will to do what she did, and beyond. There was no telling how long it'd take to get over those feelings as the thought just made my skin crawl, and knowing he experienced it, it probably multiplied.

"So why did you ask?" He questions, bringing me back to the conversation at hand. Curiosity again, right? that's a good reason. I mean, that'd solve everything.

"I was just wondering," is all I said back in response, but the face I got as I did was not solving anything. It was clear that I wasn't just going to waltz out of this discussion. "Ryan and I shared a kiss in the kitchen yesterday."

"Oh." Yeah, that probably wasn't the best way to tell him. I maybe should explained it more, and found some way to tell him lightly. However, he had done stuff with Ryan way beyond that so I should get a free pass.

"We got caught in the moment of emotions and he told me instead of staring, we should do something about it and he kissed me while making breakfast." I actually had wanted to tell him yesterday, but couldn't bring myself to say it. After all, it still felt naughty and wrong, like cheating, but oh so satisfying.

"So you obviously learned why I like to run to him, and now want to have your own experience..." Was that wrong? Did that make me a slut? Did that break the code of our relationship? "I can't blame you, to be honest, as there's always been something very attracting about Ryan. I also know that he's fully up for fun and games in the bedsroom so he'd be interested in that three-way, too."

"What about Isabelle?" The feelings and logical side of me kept referring back to how I felt this was totally wrong. It was as if it was trying to find something to restrain my heart from doing this.

"She'd be understanding because after all, she knows Ryan just about as well as anybody else does." I may beg to differ that one person knows him better, and that person is right before me. But hey, we'll roll with this. Anything that results in this happening.

"Would you be okay with it?" There goes the logical side, worried about him. After all, here's the person that's trying to find a way forward after dealing with a wicked witch.

"Being spoiled by the two men who mean more to me than anybody else in the world at the same damn time? Is that really a question, Alex?" Smack myself up the head once again as that was obvious. "Isabelle just finished the bedsroom renovations with Ryan today. It could be fun to check them out."

"We could ring in the new year with a bang." Did I really just damn well say that?

I couldn't help but stare as he opened up his text messages, bringing up Ryan's number. There was no way out of this now as I watched him send a message. Here goes nothing.

You should let Alex and I christen that bedsroom with you.