Unchartered Waters ✅

Chapter 11: The Bar Stumble

Chase's POV

April 18, 2021

Congratulations on the win, was the simple text that I sent to Alex after the race, before flying my ass back home. I would've stuck around normally to congratulate my teammate, but I couldn't face him after everything.

Truth be told, I was glad to see him win. It was nice to see the team have success and overall, I guess he was a good guy. I mean, he was willing to go out of his way to a degree for me.

I really liked Alex. He had this perfect sweetness to him, but a fun side that I just couldn't wait to unravel. It had me wondering just else I would learn about him if we go the chance to know each other more.

I tried to get to know him more, but he shot me down immediately. I was upset and heartbroken. He had poured himself out to me, checked on me more than once, just for him to slam the door in my face at the perfect opportunity.

I understood his reasons, though, as he was right. I hadn't closed that door with Ryan quite yet. Actually, I still hadn't talked to him. I couldn't bring myself to face him after speaking with Isabelle and learning the truth. I couldn't bring myself to ask questions, wonder what could be – maybe because I still didn't want it to be true.

How could he had done this to me?

It was why I wasn't surprised upon landing in Georgia that I was sitting here before a table with a drink on it, and it wasn't the first drink on the table that night.

While everybody was celebrating his win, here I was trying to drown sorrows. It didn't help on top of being upset and confused about Ryan and Alex that today just sucked. It didn't matter what we tried today at Richmond, nothing seemed to work. We were just stuck in the same rut, fighting similar handling issues every single run, unable to make any ground no matter what we tried.

Why was a place that seemed so simple to run so hard?

I guess I ended up having more drinks than I realized as it was a couple hours later before I realized the glasses on the table. But, I am smart here. I at least knew the right thing and called my father, asking him to give me a ride home.

"Can I ask why?" He asks as we leave upon him showing up. I knew immediately asking him was going to result in questions as this was a very, very rare occurrence. I didn't want to answer these questions, as again it'd be another slap in the face about everything.

"Do I have to have a reason?" I question back in response, hoping he'd drop it quicker than later. "I thought I'd have a couple drinks." People did that, right?

"It's not like you," which is true – I admit it. The alcohol only normally comes out if hanging with friends, and I am one of those who actually knows their limit. Though thanks to Ryan, it seemed to be coming out more often. You have to understand why – nobody would want to dwell in this pain. "I've noticed you're quieter than normal. Is something going on?"

"If you're asking, you've already figured it out." He knew me better than most, and could always read when something was wrong. It's why my parents were the first ones to discover Kaitlyn was just wrong for me and needed to go with the unhealthy cycle we were living in.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Whoever wants to talk about their relationship and pain? I know everybody says 'oh, you should talk to someone, see a professional,' but we know nobody wants to actually speak about it, reliving those emotions.

"No."

"Not talking makes it worse," which was probably the only reason people wound up talking about it. Truth be told, that wasn't happening quite yet – I wasn't ready.

"I don't want to talk about it." It was that simple. I was a grown adult so I was owed that, right?

Ugh, there goes my phone. Who would be bothering to text me tonight? Ryan knew I wanted distance and probably had grown used to someone else filling his time, and Alex should be having the party of a lifetime.

"You should answer that, maybe," my dad suggests, bringing a chuckle to me.

"Why?" I question back in response, actually curious as to his reasoning. "It doesn't matter."

"Ryan matters, or so I thought." I hadn't even looked at the caller ID to see if it was him – what if it was? No, I couldn't dare glance just in case.

"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" The more I say, the more I am getting closer to just shouting everything so he gets off my damn back. Maybe if he knew everything I was dealing with again, he'd let this topic go.

"Fine, but you can't do this over and over." This was the first time he had to pick me up in a very, very long time. How could he tell something was going on? How did he know what I was doing?

"IF I knew this required a conversation, I would've just called a ride share." I may have had to wait a couple more minutes, and pay some ridiculous fee, but it would've been better than a headache.

"I'm just looking out for you. Let me help you." The last person who said that to me ended up hurting me just as much as the first person. I know Dad could never do that, but I also knew he'd probably clear up this unnecessary confusion over what happened and that'd bring more pain – probably.

"That's what Alex said. It didn't get him far." That slipped out way before I wanted – or even intended. I never meant to say those words. Chase, what the hell are you doing?

"Bowman?" I guess I had no chance of going back any longer because unfortunately, I didn't have the ability to lie to my parents.

"Sure. Want to know what's going on? Ask Ryan and Alex. They seem to know more than I do."