Unchartered Waters ✅

Chapter 29: Speeding Through Summer

Alex's POV

Wednesday October 27, 2021 – North Carolina

"Nice job," CJ Leary says as he offers a high-five, before walking away and I couldn't help but smile.

There was always pride when you were building a new piece. There was always pride in debuting that new piece at the track. The icing, though, was seeing CJ park the new car in victory lane on her debut night. Now that's how you do it and back up everything you thought about this program.

I know there's still two weeks left on the schedule, and frankly, I want to win both of those races to close out the season. However, you also cannot deny the excitement about what is to come the next couple of months as Golden Driller season is always amazing.

"I was surprised that you had all the time to put together a new car," he adds, catching my attention as I take a deep breath.

"I needed something to get my mind off-" I start, though take a deep breath as that was probably not a good idea. After all, it wasn't like anyone really knew about my feelings for him. "I just needed a distraction."

"I understand. I'm available to talk if you need someone." I nod my head, though knew I'd probably never take him up on that offer. Where was I to begin with everything that happened?

"I'll keep that in mind...."

With everything packed up, it was time to make the short drive back home, unload and reset for another weekend. Rinse and repeat, right? Sometimes we ask ourselves why we do the same thing over, but the thrill of victory and friendships make it worthwhile.

It was also a good way to keep the mind occupied as you would always be stuck on what to try next, or the right adjustment that you need – instead of thinking about other things.

It was crazy to think how quickly this summer had just flown by. It seemed it was just June a couple weeks ago, not couple months ago, and the butterflies were answered.

I remember him telling me he had feelings for me in return. I remember those butterflies. I remember replying back to him, sharing that I had some of my own, that I was willing to try this for the first time. It was butterflies of love and nerves mixed together.

However, nothing happened since then. He got busy with commitments, I got busy with my race team, and we didn't seem to cross paths. Sure, we saw each other at the shop and in meetings, but this wasn't a discussion we could have then. It also seemed once those were over that we spread apart quickly.

I understood the reasons, because I knew where he was coming from. He had just had his heart ripped out of my chest for the second time, and by someone he thought it'd never happen with. It was understandable that he was afraid, hence the distance to not try again. I respected that – but realizing how long it'd been, I began to question everything.

What if he moved on? What if he wasn't going to try something? What if he found someone else? What if he said those things to make me feel better, but not really mean them?

Take a deep breath, Alex. Let's face it, you know your teammate better than that. He'd never do something like that to you. He's too honest and sweet for his own damn good sometimes that he could not do that to you.

Maybe it was the fact that I was jealous, perhaps a little angry, in watching him hang out with Ryan. It was Ryan that broke his heart and screwed everything. it was Ryan that went behind his back. It was Ryan that created this mess to begin with. However, it was Ryan that he was hanging with as a friend, going golfing with.

How was that fair?

Though pulling into the driveway, I glance at my phone, seeing the text message that came through the other night.

It was odd to see him send this message after all these months, but maybe he was having the same thoughts that I was having – or maybe something different.

However, I wasn't about to just let this message go, either. It was the answer to all my questions and let's face it, there's no way I could forget about him easily.