Spencer Reid: Oneshots

Babysitting Duty

Summary: Reader has never been a fan of children, and JJ, Penelope, and Emily set out to change that with the help of an unknowing Dr. Reid.
TW: Mention of sleeping drugs

I don't really like kids. I'm aware that the statement is blunt, but I've been told to speak my truth so...here.
People always tell me: "Oh, Y/N! You'll understand when you're older, parenthood is a gift." Blah. Blah. Blah.
Well, I'm 27, and I still see no appeal. When Penelope and JJ found out I wasn't a fan of kids, they went apeshit on me. Like actually.

"Y/N, you cannot be serious!" Penelope slammed her hands on the desk dramatically.

"Surprise, I can."

"I thought the same thing but—" JJ began.

"You totally did not," Spencer chimed in from his desk. "You loved Jack the day you met him."

"Spence, not now."

I sighed. "Maybe kids just aren't for me."

"But why?!" Penelope groaned.

"Okay, uh...they cost a lot of money, they cry, they whine a lot, they—"

"You've got her going now," Emily said, snickering as she walked over.

"I'm just being realistic!" I exclaimed.

"About?"

"Why kids are overrated, and I don't want them."

Emily chuckled. "I've got a question for you, Y/N."

"And what would that be?"

"Have you ever actually been with a kid longer than 10 minutes?"

And that's how I wound up co-babysitting with Spencer while the 3 musketeers went out to get wasted. Truthfully, I always thought Spencer was kind of cute, so it was probably his presence that sealed the deal. Plus JJ said she'd pay me. I became Strauss' assistant last year, which actually doesn't suck as much as most people think. I basically just hang out with the team until she makes me file some papers, then I do it again. And the pay is great. She was very clear with the whole "oh, don't fraternize with other agents thing" but yet she still thinks I don't know she's banging Rossi. I see why she isn't a profiler. But either way, I care about my easily replaceable job too much to risk it with boy wonder over there. Or so I think...

"Hey," Spencer said, opening the door to JJ's place.

"Hi," I replied in a tone that was so obnoxiously high that I wanted to fling myself off the edge of a cliff.

"I'm sure you remember Henry."

"Uh...vaguely?"

Spencer snickered, the little boy still clinging to his leg. "Henry, this is your mom and I's friend from work, Y/N. Can you say hi?"

He glanced up from behind his leg.
Jesus Christ, he's tiny.

"...Hi."

I gulped, smiling nervously. "Hello, I'm Y/N." Spencer just said that, dumbass.

"I'm Henry."

"I uh I like your shirt...dinosaurs are cool."

He smiled ever so slightly. Score. "Wanna see my dinosaur toys?"