𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐇𝐚𝐰𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐫

20. Don't Try Suicide

December 15, 1984

TW: SUICIDE

Richie cried as he laid out in the woods. The rain still pouring down making him shiver. His strength slowly coming back but his nose and unfortunately his ears still trickled blood causing his shirt to become slightly stained deep red. Him mumbling to himself ever so often that it's his fault his best friend is gone.

He knows it's his fault. He's seen this in a dream before. Stanley killing himself. However, something began to flicker in Richie's vision. Him knowing it's the shine trying to show him something.

"The bathtub." Richie whispered to himself. Until he fully saw Stanley sitting at his desk.

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Stanley was shaking with fear as he was writing his goodbye letters, now knowing that Pennywise is in Hawkins after the losers once again. Tears were making their way out of his eyes as he finished the last letter. Which happened to be Bill's separate letter. He placed the letters neatly into his desk. Letting out a slight sob as Stan made his way to the bathroom grabbing his radio on the way.

His hands struggling to turn the knobs of the bathtub as they shook rapidly. His heart was pounding, it ready to jump out of his chest at any moment. It matching the water's dripping as it fell into the tub. He placed the radio by the tub messing with the stations until he found the perfect one.

He began to remove his clothing placing them in the laundry basket. Voices starting to make their way back into his head, voices he can never escape. He slowly got into the heated water. It burning his skin slightly, making his skin red. He started to adjust the volume of the radio. The beginning of Don't Try Suicide by Queen came on.

(play song now)

Stanley began to laugh but they shortly turned into silent sobs. "Great fucking timing." He murmured to himself as he whipped his eyes. Causing them to grow bloodshot as he cried harder.

His breathing began to grow heavier with every breath he took in the tears not stopping. "Should I really do this?" Stanley thought out loud. He would be leaving everyone behind. The only people that he truly loved. He would be leaving Bill, the only one who knew who he really was.

Bill was the one who would help him through anything. The only person that Stanley could sit and talk for hours over little things. Memories flood the curly-haired boy's mind.

He thought of the day after Derry High's prom, the night after Bill and Stanley kissed, confessing those feelings that won't go away for the two.

The two were laying in Bill's bed, legs tangled together, Bill's arms wrapped around Stan's waist. While Stanley rested his head on the other boy's chest. As Stanley explained everything that was in his bird book. Bill trying his best to pay attention to Stan's words but getting lost as he focused on Stan's face.

Bill admired the way Stanley would scrunch his face together as he read the book. How he would chew his bottom lip as he explained the bird's appearances.

Stan felt more hot salty tears fall as he remembered catching Bill staring, him growing angry thinking he wasn't paying attention but his heart-melting quickly after hearing Bill's reason.