The Monsters Inside and Out (Scott Howl x Depressed Reader)

67. Scott's Story

You unlock Scott's car and get into the passenger's seat. Putting the key in the ignition, you turn the car and the radio on. You wait for Scott to return, and you keep on waiting. And waiting.. And waiting... It's been nearly a half hour now, and Scott still isn't back. Everyone else who spoke only took around 5 minutes, so you have no idea what's taking so long. Before long, your eyes grow heavy, and you slowly fall asleep.

You watch as Scott walks towards his grandma, with his arm around Oz. He says, "Hey, Mawmaw! This is Oz, we're dating!" She looks at Oz, then at Scott. She says, "Oh, what happened to Amira?" "Well, she likes Damien now, so we broke up." "Ah, well, welcome to the family Oz." She holds her hand out and Oz shakes it. Your vision turns to static as a new scene is laid out before you. Scott comes back into the kitchen with a big smile and says, "Mawmaw, I think I'm in love." You see his grandma visibly tense up as she turns towards him. She says, "But didn't you say just last week that you were in love with that Vicky girl?" "Well she likes Liam now, but Brian's different! We're in football together!" "Okay, sweetie." She gives him a big smooch on the cheek. Your vision becomes static again as you see Scott meekly approach his grandma. He says, "Mawmaw, I'm dating someone again.." She looks up from the newspaper she's reading. "You are?" He lightly nods his head. She folds up her newspaper and puts a smile on her face. "Well, tell me about them."

The sound of a car door slamming shut wakes you. Looking at the time, you see another 15 minutes went by. You look over at Scott who is dejectedly looking at the steering wheel, with both of his hands on it. You ask him, "H-How did it go?" He sniffles and shrugs his shoulders. Upon closer inspection, his eyes are little puffy, suggesting he must have been crying. In an attempt to lighten the mood, you say, "You look handsome today." "Thank you." Another moment of silence passes and he says, "Listen, (Y/N). I need to tell you about something.. Hard." "Okay." He pulls out of the parking lot and drives to your spot. The classic picnic table in the park.

Once you arrive, Scott immediately gets out, and flips the whole thing over. He points at the underside of the table, and you see four carvings in it. One says 'A + S', one says 'O + S', one says 'V + S', and one says 'B + S'. Each group of letters has a heart around it and an X over each one. You look back up at Scott for an explanation, and he says, "I dated Amira, Oz, Vicky, and Brian before I dated you. I brought them all to this spot, and I carved our letters into it," as he talks, he begins to cry, "And I was SO excited to date you, but I was afraid you would leave me, so I didn't want to carve our letters into it, and now that you know about this, you might hate me forever, but I needed to tell you the truth and I'm just... Sorry!" He uses his arm to wipe the tears from his eyes. You're at a loss for words, so you just grab his hand and caress gently. You feel the need to tell him, "I don't hate you." He lets out a sob and hugs you. He cries into your shoulder for a few minutes, but then once he calms down, he flips the table back over, and sits on it. You take a seat next to him, still unsure of what to say. He says, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." "It's okay. Is.. This what you've been upset about?" He tenses up. "Um, a little, but.. There's a lot more to it." You hold his hand, "You can tell me. If you want to." He exhales slowly and begins telling his story, "Polly sometimes tells me about how cool her mom was back in the day. Sometimes Vicky will say that her parents did this, or her parents did that. Even Miranda tells me about how her dad will execute people who make her upset. But.. I never had that. My parents left me. My cousins say they remember our parents, but I never did, and I'm really upset about it. When I was really young, I didn't care. But when I got older, I realized that people had mommies and daddies who took care of them, and I didn't get why I didn't. I love my Mawmaw, but why didn't I have a mommy or daddy? At first, I still thought they loved me, because they always left me Christmas presents, but my cousins told me one time that that's not true, and Mawmaw got really mad. She had to talk to me too. About my parents. She had to tell me that they didn't want me, and that's why she raised me. And that made me really sad. Mawmaw had to take care of us, so she wasn't able to take care of herself, and that also made me sad. So I got strong. I made myself stronger so that I could help Mawmaw, but I was still.. sad. I couldn't stop thinking about how my parents didn't want me, but why? Did I do something wrong? I thought mommies and daddies were supposed to love their babies, so why didn't they love me? I started to think that nobody could love me. But then I realized, I could love everybody, so I did. Then I joined sports teams, and made even more friends. And soon, everyone loved me! Or at least, I thought they did. One day, Amira asked me to homecoming, and then we started dating. But soon, she left me, because she realized she liked Damien. Then I dated Oz, but then he liked Polly. Then I dated Vicky, who started liking Polly too, and then I dated Brian, who started liking Zoe. Everyone left me again, and I realized it must be my fault. No one liked me. They just pretended.. Do you remember what your aunt said at Polly's New Years Party?" You think back to the party. It's been so long now, you can barely remember it. But then it suddenly hits you, but before you can even say it, he answers for you, "She said you'll leave me. And I knew it would be soon." "So you were scared of being abandoned again." He sucks up his snot from crying. He slowly nods his head. You make an attempt to reassure him. "Listen, Scott. There's nothing I can really say to prove to you that I won't leave you, but I can say that you mean a lot to me. You've helped me with my confidence and happiness, and you're always there for me when I'm shaking and crying, and you've even helped with my powers!" You hold out your hand and snap your fingers a few times in an attempt to make a fire appear, but to no avail. He smiles a little. You cup his face and continue, "The point being, you have nothing to fear. I'm here, I always will be, and I will always love you." His smile dies down a bit. He says, "That's something else I wanted to tell you. You know how I always say that I love you?" You look him in the eyes. With an uneasy feeling in your stomach, you slowly, and nervously, nod. He says, "Well.. I don't really know if I've actually meant it."