The Monsters Inside and Out (Scott Howl x Depressed Reader)

150. The Truth

Blackness. Darkness. Nothingness. That's where you are. That's what you see. A dark, endless void of nothing. In all directions, not a shimmer of light remains. But... You can still see yourself. The beautiful outfit your friends picked out for you was ruined. The fabric sliced by the unmerciful stabs of a knife. Blood pouring from the hole that was created. Your hands remain bloody as well, no doubt from clutching your stomach out of instinct as the pain rushes through you. It's been a while since you've seen this place. That is to say, it's been a while since you've been so close to death. As you float alone with your thoughts, you think back to all the other times you've been here. When you hanged yourself, or stabbed, or drowned. You were here for a while. Until you weren't. Until you woke up as if from a bad dream. Any second now.

Seconds turn into minutes. Minutes turn into hours. Hours turn into days. Days into weeks. Weeks into years. Years into a lifetime. What is taking so long? Why are you still here? How much time has actually passed? Could it be because... You don't want to die? That's what's different. Before, this place seemed like bliss. Like the ultimate getaway. A world in which nothing existed to harm you. In which you never had to fear, because there was nothing to worry you. In which you never felt alone, because you were already used to it. But now, you have them. The only people in the world who made you feel like you matter. Existence without them is now pain. Suffering. Impatience. Blackness, darkness, nothingness. But then...

A gust of wind. No, not just a gust. It's continuous. But where is it coming from? You can feel it on your head. You look up, seeing if there's anything there. And there is. A shimmer of light. Are you waking up? Surely, you must be, but... It's never happened like this before. The speck of light grows bigger and bigger. And eventually, you're able to see a hallway. It gets closer and closer, and you fall straight into it. You watch the lights on the ceiling rush by as you continue falling. Looking to the sides, you see the doors passing by within seconds. You look down, seeing the black void you were in getting smaller as you plummeted. You look up, seeing the beginning of the hallway. The old, worn down, condemned door that has remained a mystery since the night you found this place. The door that was locked, sealed away to prevent you from ever entering, no matter how hard you tried. That door was getting bigger and bigger as you came flying toward it. And then you crashed. Right into that door. The collision causes it to shatter into bits.

Suddenly, you stop as you make contact with the wall past it. It's abrupt and alarming, but painless. You slide down the wall, landing on the floor. You look around your house. The one you all lived in together when you were a complete family. Multiple emotions swirl within your heart, and the one that comes out first is anger as you watch your mother, at the time young and beautiful, enter the room. She dials a number on her phone. The person on the other line answers, and your mother says, "Hey, it's me... Yeah, I know you have caller ID, I just didn't know what else to say... Yes, Darius is asleep in our room... I drugged him... Acasius is asleep in his room... Yes, (Y/N) too... Yes, I have the sacrificial knife... Yes, I have all that... I don't know, just to talk to someone before I do this... Are you even sure I'm doing the right thing?... Of course, I would never doubt you... Y-Yeah, y-you're right! He has lied, cheated, and stolen! He deserves to rot! They all deserve to rot! Starting with those two! I just hope I'll be saving (Y/N) before it's too late. Thanks, sis. I'll see you in court, prosecutor." She hangs up and looks around nervously. She watches the clock as it ticks the seconds away, and she paces around the room, back and forth. She eventually takes a seat and pulls out a book. She opens it, but instead of pages filled with words, it's hollow. It has a fancy knife inside. She grabs it and begins playing with it in her hands.

She eventually stands up and exits the room. You get up to follow her, watching as she slowly and quietly opens the door to your childhood bedroom. You watch as she picks your sleeping brother up and carries him out of the room. As she shuts the door, it squeaks softly. The squeak may have been quiet, but it still caused you to stir and awaken. Your younger self rubs their eyes and exits the room, following your mother. The younger you moves quietly as well, mimicking your mom.

She quietly enters another room, one you can remember belonged to your parents. Both versions of you watch as she sets your brother beside your sleeping father. She reaches into her nightstand and grabs a vial of some red liquid, and she begins pouring it on the floor, in the shape of a pentagram. She grabs some candles from the nightstand as well and sets them up around the pentagram, lighting them each. She finally picks your brother up and places him in the center of the pentagram. Brandishing the fancy knife in her hand, she drives it into your brother's heart, turning and twisting it to make sure he's dead. Since he died immediately, he didn't have any chance to scream. You then watch as your mother hacks away half of your brother's body, making sure to make the cut clean. Both you and your younger self watch in horror, unable to look away, as the sound of splattering blood, grinding bones, and grunts from your mother are heard. Once she's done, she splatters plenty of his blood on your father, and she places the knife in his hand. You suppress the urge to vomit, and your younger self runs away. You follow and watch as you get in your bed, breathing heavily in fear. The breathing eventually calms down, and your younger self rolls over on their back, their eyes closed. You hear your mother screaming, and your younger self opens their eyes and gets out of bed to investigate the noise.

You feel your entire world ending, shaking, and breaking apart. Too many thoughts and feelings are floating around in your head to make them understandable. You start hyperventilating, clutching your head in your hands as you squat down, still breathing rapidly. You suddenly start holding your breath as if you can't do it anymore. You keep holding it in, starting to feel lightheaded as you wish you could pass out. You hold it in more and more... ...Until you're awake in a hospital bed, gasping for air.