The Monsters Inside and Out (Scott Howl x Depressed Reader)

24. You Are Wrong

Warning - This chapter deals with self harm. I know that has been mentioned at the beginning of the story, but since it hasn't been mentioned since, and since I didn't have a clear story in my head at the time, I thought I'd warn you. Thanks for reading!

Once lunchtime ends, Leonard make you walk with him. You get his stuff from his locker, and carry it for him to his next class. He tells you to meet him there at the end of the period. You rush back to your locker, and as you close it the bell rings. You get changed in the locker room, and go out to the gym. Dodgeball has already begun, and the two teams are already pelting eachother with dodgeballs. When Coach asks you why you were late, you mutter some fake response and he assigns you to a team. The one Scott isn't on. After most of the period is over, the only to people left in the game were you and Vera. You start shaking a little bit as your own voice echos in your mind. "Ms. Bitch herself, Vera!" After all she's done for you, you still had the nerve to call her a bitch. You lose focus in the game, and are hit with a dodgeball. You lost. Coach dismisses everyone to get changed and your teammates express their anger for you losing it for them. You quickly get changed and run to Leonard's class before the bell rings and before any of your friends can talk to you.

You meet him right as the bell rings and walk his stuff to his next class. You run to your class and sit down before the bell rings again. You take your normal seat next to Scott and Ms. Feratu explains what the class is doing the rest of the week. You will be doing a project for the science fair this whole week and the next week as well. Fortunately, you are allowed to pick your group. You, Scott, Vicky, and Calculester are together. As everyone is brainstorming ideas, you sit and stare at your table, pretending to think as well. You get tapped on the shoulder. You look over and it was Scott. He says, "Vicky asked you something." You look at her, who says, "Are you okay? You don't seem like yourself." "I'm fine." Calculester adds, "Are you sure, friend (Y/N)? According to normal organic behavior, you are showing signs of disinterest, sadness, and feeling lost." "Yes, Cal, I'm fine. I'm always like this." "But one would think that having a boyfriend would make one happier." "Yes, Cal, but sometimes you're upset just because you're upset!" "I'm sorry, friend (Y/N). I still don't completely understand organic behavior." You mutter to yourself, "Yeah, no shit." Scott and Vicky give eachother a worried glance, but don't say anything.

After the period ends, you go to study hall, but nothing abnormal happens. Your last class of the day is one you have with Leonard. He makes you sit next to him, which causes Amira to give you a very confused look. The entire period you do your work, and Leonard copies off of you. Once you finish your work for the day, Leonard starts talking. "You have Ms. Feratu for science, right?" "Yeah?" "Good, I'm gonna need you to start my project for me. My group is doing lasers. I'm sure you can figure it out." "I have to do my own project too! This is a big grade!" "Which is exactly why I need you to do it. I'm too busy making my YouTube videos, and I need to have a passing grade. Which reminds me, here." He hands you a big binder. "This is my homework for the day, as well as some late work which needs done by the end of the week." You stare blankly at the binder, flipping through it. Part of you wants to rip his face off, the other part of you still wants to rip his face off, but understands what is at stake. You quietly mutter, "okay.." He smirks back. "Good." Once the bell rings, Amira walks over to you, asking, "Hey, (Y/N), you wanna come over to the roller skating place tonight? A bunch of us are going and we thought you might-" Leonard interrupts, "Actually, (Y/N) and I have plans tonight." Amira looks at you. You say, "Sorry Amira.." "It's okay. Another time then." She walks off, and you gather you and Leonard's stuff, and head to your lockers.

You spend that day at Leonard's house, doing his homework. Unsurprisingly, he lives in his parent's basement. He starts making his gameplay videos of FoF, and he makes you leave before his mom can offer you dinner. The rest of the week carried out in a similar manner, being late to classes, ignoring your friends to be with him, doing all of his work, and letting people down. Your friends eventually stopped asking you what was wrong too. They probably got tired of you denying any issues over and over again. The only person who still seemed to care, was Scott. He asked you what was wrong almost every chance he got, which wasn't a lot now. But on Friday he didn't say anything. But during science, while your group was working on your project, Scott grabbed your hand. You looked at him, and he was just looking at his computer. You smiled, and held it tighter. He took you to the park, where you both worked on homework together, and then you went out to dinner. He pulled into your driveway to drop you off, and you noticed a lot of cars parked outside of your house. Upon entering, your friends were sitting in the living room, in a circle.

"What's.. Going on?" Vicky comes over to you and says, "Come on, sit." She guides you to the middle of the circle. Zoe bursts into tears. "OH (YYYY/NNNN), I'M SO SORRY! WE ALL LOVE YOU AND WHATEVER WE DID, WE'RE SOOOORRRRYY!!" Oz slaps Zoe in the face. Rubbing her cheek, Zoe apologizes, "Sorry guys, got a little intense there." Vera says, "Right.. Anyway, (Y/N), what's going on?" "Nothing, I'm fine." "No. You're not." "Yes, I am. I'm just having a depressive episode. You've seen me have one before.." "But this one is different. We can tell." "How?" Vera looks around the room at everyone, then back at you. All at the exact same time, everyone says, "Leonard." Oh shit. They're onto you. "Fine. If you must know, I've been having some.. Unpleasant dreams lately.. Leonard says that kappas have a thing with dreams and that he'll help me if I do some things for him." Everyone looks around at eachother for a minute, seemingly not satisfied with your answer. Amira asks, "How come you didn't come to any of us first?" "I was.. Embarrassed.." Brian adds, "Well why did you go to Leonard?" "Because I.. uh.. I knew if he made fun of me, I could take it. But if you guys found out about these dreams, then.. I don't know.." Liam says, "Well, what's happening in these dreams?" "It doesn't matter." "Yes it does. If you had to go to Leonard it must matter somewhat." "I don't want to talk about it." "But if you don't, we can't help you!" "Good, I don't need your help!" "Yes, you clearly do!" Everyone turned to face Liam. Everyone heard that. The attitude in his voice. His emphasis on the word 'clearly'. You could see frustration in his eyes. Which turned into your frustration. "You're just like them. They always say something is wrong with me. They ALWAYS get frustrated. I'm supposed to be able to open up to my parents, to my friends. But the moment I do, they get frustrated. I. Can't. Control. My. Problems. I NEVER asked ANY of you to help me. You brought this on yourselves, and now you're getting frustrated. My old friends used to blame me for things like this too. THEY wanted to help me, but I didn't, and that got them angry. You're just as bad as all of them!!" "(Y/N).." Scott puts his hand on your shoulder. In a fight or flight response, you grabbed his hand and flipped him onto the coffee table, which broke. After realizing what you'd done, you ran. You ran out the front door, down the street, and into the nearby woods. Once you couldn't run anymore, you sat under a tree. You took out your pocket knife and started carving 'you are wrong' in your arms.