✔Our Fantasy • Stray Kids X Reader✔

49 🌑

September 20, 1998, 19:37

Dear diary,

Things are getting terribly tense over here. I ran away from home. If I hadn't, I would have been married tomorrow. I'm currently staying over at Jihoon's place, and thankfully they all allowed me to stay, but I'm not sure if it's much better here. Last time I wrote about the group kind of splitting up, and it's only gotten worse.

I asked Jihoon, but he still wouldn't tell me. Neither would Minjun or Jiho... They said it was probably better if I didn't know, but I do feel left out in all honesty. I won't pry, but I do hope they tell me about it someday... Anyways, we'll see about how it all turns out. I'll let you know in a couple of days! For now I'll just be glad I get to be with Jihoon for a while longer ♡

~ Kang Yejun

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"Ehm, sure, come in," I hesitantly answered, stepping aside to let Jisung in. I know I said I wanted to talk to him, but wasn't this a bit too sudden? I looked out the door as he got in again, checking if no one else was there. My eyes met Jeongin's, but I quickly averted my gaze, closing the door behind me. I wasn't even sure why I acted like that, maybe because of the peck he gave me last time...? I could almost still feel his hand on my cheek too.

I quickly shook it off. I shouldn't be thinking about it all that much. I could feel Jisung's stare on me, rather embarrassed by the hurried act. "Ah, what did you want to talk about?" I quickly asked to divert his attention. He perked up again, as if he had forgotten why he was even there in the first place. Before I knew it he pulled me by my hand, only a few inches away from him.

"Y/N, is there anything going on with you and, well, any of the guys?" he asked with an intense gaze fixated on me, completely throwing me off guard. "I, ehm, what exactly do you mean with that?" I managed to get out. His grip on my hand was quite strong, yet it wasn't hurting. You could see that he wasn't easily planning on letting go however... What was going on with these guys and all the skinship lately?

"You know, are you dating any one of them? It doesn't even have to be just dating, could be-" His ears grew a slight hint of red, making him stop his sentence. "Well, you know what I mean!" At this point Jisung's ears weren't the only ones that were red. I think if we'd have a contest of who's were more red, mine would probably even win.

"Of cou-" I started, though even I wasn't sure of what to answer anymore. I was about to deny it, but what about Chan? What were we even at this point? I had been so busy and stressed about getting out of this place that I didn't even think about it. I should have asked when they were away, maybe then my brain would get some clarity, but I didn't...

I didn't even know how Chan felt about it. Last time, when things were still slightly normal, we... I couldn't even say it in my thoughts as the images of him already popped up. But after, we barely even talked. Were we together? Was that night just a mistake? A one time thing? It was eating me up inside. Besides, I had been so confused with the situation that I didn't even knew how I felt for him. I want to love him, but could I still after all that happened?

Jisung let go of my hand, running it through his hair. "You are, aren't you?" he concluded. I instantly shook my head. "No no, that's not it!" He looked back at me, a look of interest and... hope? I couldn't quite make it out, but if I didn't explain now he probably wouldn't even believe me. "I... I don't even know what's going on anymore, but I don't think I am."

I probably wasn't, right? After all, that night with Chan had been months ago. For all I knew, his feelings could have changed, especially since we never talked about it anymore. As long as we didn't say anything out loud or made anything certain, for all I knew right now we weren't together... It was probably for the best, right?

"That doesn't exactly sound convincing either to me or yourself," Jisung commented. I kept in a chuckle. He was definitely right, I could barely manage to convince myself, how was I going to convince him of it? "I'm not," I repeated with more confidence. Yeah. I really wasn't. I shouldn't overthink this.

He let out a sigh of relief. "Oh thank goodness." His tense body finally relaxed, as he sat down on the bed. I followed his action, sitting beside him, a bit more distance however, still a bit flustered from how close we were earlier. Jisung once again took my hand, looking both serious and calm at the same time. "Y/N, I know this is awfully sudden, but I-"

Before he could even finish his sentence the door busted open, Chan panting in the door opening. "Jisung, they need you downstairs, it's Minho!" Jisung shot up, his eyes flickering between me and Chan. "Let's talk later okay?" he hurriedly said before passing Chan, almost even flying down the stairs so fast.

Chan closed the door behind us again, suddenly cupping my face. "Y/N, I can't take this anymore," he said, desperate, yet keeping his voice low. "I know we haven't exactly been talking that much, and that I should have just gone up to you instead of going through this stupid plan of mine to 'lay it low', but I don't want to lose you to them," was what he said before pressing his lips against mine.